1. We can see you stealing the mini jams, and we don't actually mind.
2. If breakfast service starts at 7am, we have to get in at 6am to start prepping.
3. Making sure the buffet table looks nice at all times is actually quite hard work.
4. The fruit and the pastry stations are the most fun to work on.
5. And the egg station is the worst, because it's unbelievably hot.
6. We will never understand how anyone can stomach kippers before noon.
7. And don't even get us started on those of you who order a Diet Coke first thing in the morning.
8. We're experts at making your coffee look pretty.
9. And we're very talented napkin folders.
10. There's something about buffets that encourages every single hotel guest to get four times more food than they can possibly eat.
11. We don't know what's in the juice labelled "breakfast juice" either.
12. All the posh looking cereal just came straight out of the packet.
13. We invent salacious stories about why different hotel guests are eating breakfast together in our heads.
14. And we find those of you who drink a Bloody Mary alone unbelievably glam.
15. The smell of bacon makes us incredibly hungry.
16. Scraping the waste from your breakfast plates is unbelievably gross.
17. Burning yourself on those weird commercial toaster things is easier than you think.
18. There's no table number 13.
19. Guests who use a toothpick and then break it up into lots of little bits are the worst.
20. Scrap that: People who get food on the newspaper they're reading are the worst.
21. We rarely get tips, because most of you charge your bill to your room.
