1. Firstly, everyone assumes you're dumb.
2. Or shallow.
3. Or slutty.
4. Or just a bitch.
5. If you spend too long in the sun, your hair turns white.
6. And even if you only spend a moment in the sun, your roots will show as soon as your hair starts to grow.
7. Which is annoying because highlights are expensive.
8. And ammonia smells gross.
9. But if you opt for lowlights, you run the risk of streaky hair.
10. You have to spend hours filling in your eyebrows.
11. And without mascara, your eyelashes are invisible.
12. Red lipstick can make you look very severe.
13. Black eyeliner can make you look like a teenage goth.
14. You also have to be careful wearing white.
15. And pink.
16. Because blonde hair damages quickly, split ends are an ongoing problem for you.
17. And blonde hair looks greasy quicker than every other hair type.
18. But too much dry shampoo can make you look like your grandma.
19. Chlorine is the enemy.
Unless you wash your hair right after you swim, it'll turn green.