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24 Truths All Female Swimmers Know To Be True

The massive guy in the tiny red Speedos = your enemy.

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1. You coordinate your swimming schedule with the days you need to wash your hair.

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You can never swim on consecutive days, because it would be a waste.

2. And you resent the fact that you never get to wash your hair in your nice home shower.

Swimming pool showers are always kind of gross.
Twitter: @JeremyWaffles

Swimming pool showers are always kind of gross.

3. Especially because swimming pool showers always have other ladies' hair in them.

Always.

4. You also resent having to queue to use a crappy hairdryer.

But you do it, because there's nothing worse than walking home with wet hair.
Twitter: @Kate_Crockett

But you do it, because there's nothing worse than walking home with wet hair.

5. Because you've spent so much time in pool changing rooms, you're literally not phased by nudity.

Columbia Pictures

You're basically blind to it at this stage.

6. And because you spend so much time swimming, you always kinda smell like chlorine.

No matter how much you wash, the smell never really leaves you.
Twitter: @Lauren7600

No matter how much you wash, the smell never really leaves you.

7. Whenever someone overtakes you, you try to swim faster so they realise they're being obnoxious.

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It sometimes works, but not always.

8. But you've also been the person who has tried and failed to overtake someone.

MTV

Sliding back into the position you came from is always embarrassing.

9. When you first started swimming, you shaved your legs, armpits, and bikini line all the time.

When you shave your legs for the first time in 4 months cuz swim is life and make everyone feel your leg

You basically prepared for a holiday every time you went to your local pool.

10. But you soon realise that no one in a swimming pool cares how much body hair you have.

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And you'd rather stay in bed 10 minutes longer than have stubble-free armpits anyway.

11. If you swim outside, you have ridiculous tan lines all year round.

And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

12. And if you swim in a wetsuit, there's always at least one part of it that rubs.

Usually it's the back of the neck or the backs of the knees.
Twitter: @jennythewrenny

Usually it's the back of the neck or the backs of the knees.

13. Not to mention the fact that your tan gets even more ridiculous.

No one ever just wants tanned hands and feet.
Twitter: @angelinamariam

No one ever just wants tanned hands and feet.

14. And they're a bitch to get on and off.

You literally always need assistance.
Twitter: @dartfanpage

You literally always need assistance.

15. You've definitely gone swimming and forgotten to take off your make up before now.

Or worse, left your contact lenses in.
Twitter: @jocelynseip

Or worse, left your contact lenses in.

16. And you always resent having to stuff your hair into a swim cap if you're having a good hair day.

Untangling it when you get in the shower after is also the worst.

17. It's always the men who splash too much when they pass you and get water in your face.

Walt Disney

It's never the lovely women; it's always the grosso men.

18. It's also always the men who graze your leg as they pass you.

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Which just makes you kick even harder.

19. There's always one massive guy wearing tiny red Speedos who will insist on overtaking you on every single length.

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He'll also just lurk at the end of the pool stretching so you'll never be able to touch the side.

20. Whenever you get stuck behind someone doing the breaststroke, you can't help staring at their bum and wondering whether yours wobbles more/less/the same amount.

Harpo

Not in a pervy way, it's just interesting.

21. You've pushed off the side of the pool and had a boob flop out at least once before now.

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It's equally awful every time.

22. You have a little moisturising and conditioning routine that you go through every time you get out of the pool.

And you make sure you never wear tights on swimming days.
Twitter: @KrysBOSH_

And you make sure you never wear tights on swimming days.

23. If you're truly honest, you spend most of your time in the pool planning what you're going to eat when you get out.

The CW

You're swimming; you deserve it.

24. But also dreaming about the banging bod that you are developing.

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And you'll never stop, because swimming is the best.