Skip To Content

    24 Truths All Female Swimmers Know To Be True

    The massive guy in the tiny red Speedos = your enemy.

    1. You coordinate your swimming schedule with the days you need to wash your hair.

    2. And you resent the fact that you never get to wash your hair in your nice home shower.

    3. Especially because swimming pool showers always have other ladies' hair in them.

    4. You also resent having to queue to use a crappy hairdryer.

    5. Because you've spent so much time in pool changing rooms, you're literally not phased by nudity.

    6. And because you spend so much time swimming, you always kinda smell like chlorine.

    7. Whenever someone overtakes you, you try to swim faster so they realise they're being obnoxious.

    8. But you've also been the person who has tried and failed to overtake someone.

    9. When you first started swimming, you shaved your legs, armpits, and bikini line all the time.

    When you shave your legs for the first time in 4 months cuz swim is life and make everyone feel your leg

    You basically prepared for a holiday every time you went to your local pool.

    10. But you soon realise that no one in a swimming pool cares how much body hair you have.

    11. If you swim outside, you have ridiculous tan lines all year round.

    And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

    12. And if you swim in a wetsuit, there's always at least one part of it that rubs.

    13. Not to mention the fact that your tan gets even more ridiculous.

    14. And they're a bitch to get on and off.

    15. You've definitely gone swimming and forgotten to take off your make up before now.

    16. And you always resent having to stuff your hair into a swim cap if you're having a good hair day.

    17. It's always the men who splash too much when they pass you and get water in your face.

    18. It's also always the men who graze your leg as they pass you.

    19. There's always one massive guy wearing tiny red Speedos who will insist on overtaking you on every single length.

    20. Whenever you get stuck behind someone doing the breaststroke, you can't help staring at their bum and wondering whether yours wobbles more/less/the same amount.

    21. You've pushed off the side of the pool and had a boob flop out at least once before now.

    22. You have a little moisturising and conditioning routine that you go through every time you get out of the pool.

    23. If you're truly honest, you spend most of your time in the pool planning what you're going to eat when you get out.

    24. But also dreaming about the banging bod that you are developing.