1. There will come a time when your parents cut you off.
2. They just can’t keep bankrolling your groovy lifestyle.
3. You can love someone too much.
4. And it might make them love you less.
5. If you’ve just drunk opium tea, avoid your parents.
6. You shouldn’t turn up late to your own abortion.
7. No stuff gets up around the side of condoms.
8. It’s OK to be a virgin in your twenties.
9. Particularly if you’re the least virginy virgin ever.
10. If you’re not sure who your boyfriend’s sleeping with, take an STD test.
11. And if the results come back positive, tell all your previous sexual partners.
12. If your second biggest baggage is that you just bought four cupcakes and ate one of them in your bathroom, you’re doing OK.
13. Contracting HPV just means you’re adventurous.
14. Sometimes, people you didn’t think were gay are gay.
15. It’s a good idea not to fall for the father of the kids you babysit.
16. If you can’t make eye contact with him while you have sex, he’s probably not the guy for you.
17. It’s not OK for your boss to touch your bum.
18. If he does, don’t offer to sleep with him.
19. Never read someone else’s diary.
20. And if you do, don’t turn its contents into a song.
21. Breaking up with someone midway through sex is mean.
22. If you live in a big city, you’re automatically cool.
23. Even when you think you know everything about someone, you probably don’t.
24. Meeting your ex’s new girlfriend is never easy.
25. Smoking crack cocaine probably isn’t the best idea you’ve had.
26. It’s OK to talk about yourself a lot, but remember to ask questions too.
27. Don’t rush into marriage.
28. No one is a good friend all of the time.
29. When you first have sex, it should be with someone you trust.
30. If you fall asleep on public transport, someone will rob you.
31. Sometimes people lose jobs for no good reason.
32. You shouldn’t have sex with your best friend’s ex.
33. Don’t have big heart-to-hearts after snorting a lot of cocaine.
34. Live life for the sake of living life, not for the story.
35. If you’ve moved in with your girlfriend, you should tell her.
36. You should meet your husband’s parents before you get married.
37. Don’t put your rubbish in someone else’s bins.
38. It’s OK to just want to be happy.
39. If you steal a dog, you should return it.
40. Try not to over think things.
41. It’s natural for people to drift apart.
42. It’s not a good idea to have sex with someone just because you think your friend is having sex with their friend.
43. You should tell your parents how you feel about them.
44. Especially if they’re not acting like the grown up.
45. Be careful with Q-tips.
46. If you’re going to sing in front of people, be prepared for their reaction.
47. Getting back together with exes isn’t always the worst idea.
48. If you wind up in rehab, be nice to the other patients.
49. And don’t lie about when you’re ready to leave.
50. You have a duty to look after your siblings if they’re in trouble.
51. Refrain from making awkward music videos. They’ll come back to haunt you.
52. You shouldn’t always think about yourself. Especially at someone else’s funeral.
53. Sometimes you have to take jobs you don’t want just to pay the bills.
54. But you shouldn’t lose sight of trying to become who you are.
55. There are some problems that can’t even be solved by a trip to a beach house.
56. Role-play won’t necessarily bring you closer to your boyfriend.
57. Sometimes, people need space.
58. Stay away from boys who have girlfriends.
59. Not having Facebook is a statement.
60. Don’t always make your boyfriend stay at your place.
61. It’s OK to sometimes hate everyone who loves you.
62. And to fancy everyone when you first meet them.
63. Sometimes, you won’t even know what the next week of your life is going to be like.
64. If you need to deal with a problem, put on your big girl pants.
65. When you love someone, you don’t have to be nice all the time.
66. Being in your own head can be exhausting.
67. A difference in political opinion can make you incompatible.
68. You can’t always control who you fall in love with.
69. Everyone’s a dumb whore.