Here are a bunch of tweets from this month that 1) lightly roasted men and 2) made me giggle while on the clock. If you think these are funny, be sure to follow the accounts to make your Twitter timeline a funnier place! 😌
1.
you ever meet a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up
2.
Today is 5/9, or as some guys call it 5/11
3.
your attraction to toxic men started when you picked zack over cody
4.
Him: “I’m not like other guys” The tattoo on his arm: 🌲
5.
What girls send vs What guys send
6.
men be like “your cute😍” my cute what?
7.
men will tweet “women aren’t funny” and then go watch an episode of the office written by mindy kailing and be like “this is real comedy”
8.
High school football players were really like “ ima win this game for you baby” and then would lose 65-7
9.
Are you ready for images of the best “soap but for MEN” product you’ve ever seen?
10.
happy mother’s day to every straight guy’s first 3-4 girlfriends
11.
i wonder how all the boyfriends that ignore their girlfriends to play cod feels now that their girlfriend is ignoring them to play animal crossing
12.
i would NEVER want a straight man to “rearrange” my “guts” are u kidding they do not have an eye for design
13.
delete a letter of his name from your contacts everytime he makes you upset. when his names gone, he’s gone. hangman that mf.
14.
someone has to tell them
15.
why are stra*ght men so against astrology and personality tests???? it's like they're born with this vendetta against trying to know yourself more????? is introspection such a bad thing
16.
the way hades is a legend
17.
why do men think they’re doing something when they comment “thirst trap!!” on your pics like yeah? I posted a picture that I look good in. you should try it sometime instead of those weird blurry photos of you and 12 other grown men at the club
18.
Woman: I also enjoy the activity you mentioned Man: I will now force you to prove this to me with some trivia questions
19.
men use “daddy issues” as an insult against women as if they aren’t admitting men systematically fail as fathers and traumatize their children on such a large scale they have a name for it 💀
20.
youre in his DMs, I’m also in his DMs... we are exactly the same and probably more compatible with each other than with him
21.
men be like “yeah i‘ve been thinking about going to therapy for a long time :/“ and then don’t go ever and continue to wreak havoc on other people’s lives