Have you ever worried that you're toxic? Or rather, that some of your behaviors are?
1. "I am militantly aloof. I can work with people for years and never make the slightest bit of connection. I just sort of go about my business."
2. "I’m an Olympic gold medalist at procrastination. I thrive under self-inflicted time crunches. I can’t perform at a high level without it. I’ve always had good grades. I'm successful at what I do. I'm proud that my secret hasn’t held me back. (I also absolutely hate this and wish I could change.)"
3. "I wouldn’t say it’s toxic, but it’s scary how much I can love someone and never speak to them again."
"I can make up my mind that I don't care about someone anymore and immediately just stop caring. No buildup, no debate, no worrying about if I made the right call. It's kind of scary because sometimes, I start to contemplate doing it with everyone, and well, I know that's not a good idea."
4. "Reckless generosity — like, I’m buying beers for random people I meet at the club even though I’m broke and unemployed. I’m helping random strangers even though it makes me late for important appointments."
5. "I’m not sure it’s toxic, but I can often see both sides of situations, so people can feel as though I'm constantly playing devil’s advocate. Understandably, this can be very frustrating. I don’t voice it in a way where I’m defending the opposite side, but it’s more noting the other point of view. I do try to keep it to myself until people ask my opinion, and even then, I just gently point out the other perspective. I will 100% support people who are in the right, but it’s mostly those who react a bit more impulsively and with anger that I see both sides more. On the plus side, I try my best to not be judgmental at all, so I hope that balances it out a bit."
7. "I obsess over things, and it leads to a lot of social anxiety and difficulty focusing in most social situations. It also, however, led to me finding some deeply meaningful skills and hobbies."
8. "I get mad when people make things too complicated for no reason, meaning I have a trigger that goes off when shit doesn't make sense. It's helped me a lot in my career since I'm in IT and can smell BS from a mile away."
9. "I’ve never once said goodbye at a function outside of direct family. If you look away from me for a minute at a party, there’s a 95% chance I’ve slithered toward the door avoiding everyone to go home. I just dislike parties and hate goodbyes, so I’m just not gonna do either if I don’t have to."
10. "Having grown up in a toxic home where an abusive parent would negate anything you say or do on a whim and completely deny reality when you're 100% correct, I’ve gotten excellent at memorizing and transcribing conversations in almost a stenographer way. It means I’m excellent in big idea generating meetings, providing proper credit, and ensuring no detail gets lost in the shuffle. It makes me great even when my job is chaotic; it feels organized, and I never forget anything. I’ve become important to my organization because of it. I’m also strong at ensuring agreements don’t get forgotten, either by accident or intentionally."
12. "I can function with a criminally low amount of sleep. It’s not healthy, but it adds hours to me being able to get things done. It’s really helped me career-wise over the years."
13. "I assume everyone will betray me or burn me somehow, so I have mentally prepared to cut anyone off at a given time and move on. It’s a defense mechanism I wish I didn’t have as I used to be a very open and trusting person, but it just took one too many times of being blindsided by the ones I care about."
14. "Being pretty straightforward when I don't like someone. I'm not pretending I like someone just because it's offensive or whatever."
16. "I refuse to drop a grudge because 'Hey man, that was a long time ago.' If you're sorry, prove it. Don't wait a while and just show back up."
17. "Holding in my feelings. It's easier than talking about them, and it makes my wife's life easier. I find that if I'm not willing to talk about something that bothers me, it's not worth getting upset over in the first place, and I let it go. I do have some pretty heated arguments with myself on the way to work sometimes."
18. And lastly: "I can disassociate and ignore bad shit. It's like turning on an IDGAF switch. Not really proud of it, but it's useful."
So, do YOU think these traits are toxic? And what toxic traits of yours are YOU actually proud of? Tell us in the comments!
Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.