So we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about when their pet interrupted them doing ~the deed~. (Turns out, a lot more buttholes have been licked than one might suspect.) AAAANYWAY, here are our fave submissions!!!
1. Boof 'n Barf
"My ex and I were having sex on the couch. My pug came in from the other room, jumped on the couch and threw up. I don't know if the pug was more disgusted by us or vice-versa."
2. This Problem Needs Fixing
"When our two cats were kittens, my husband and I were having sex and one cat jumped in bed with us. We both tried to ignore him, but then our other cat jumped in bed too. We shoved them off, but then we noticed them on the floor 'experimenting,' as the vet called it. We got them fixed within two weeks of that incident."
3. "Is This Good Boy Really Trying That This Early?"
"I had just started dating my ex and we had built a blanket fort in his basement. I was on top of him and we were making out, still fully clothed, when I felt a slight pressure on my pants over my butthole. I thought to myself, Is this boy really trying that this early? I giggled awkwardly. He asked what was so funny, and I told him not to worry about it. But still, the pressure continued, so I stopped kissing him. 'What're you doing?!' I finally asked. He asked me what I meant, but just then, we heard the dog sigh and I realized that she had been sniffing my butt."
4. First Time Ferret
"It was my boyfriend's and my first time ever. We were already nervous and totally flustered. Well, he had a pet ferret which he let roam the house, and right it in the middle of it, the ferret came up and bit my toe! He drew blood and everything. We did not finish that day."
5. Doggy Styled
"My fiancé and I were doing it doggy style — ironic — when our dog jumped up on our bed and started humping him like crazy. She definitely ruined the mood."
6. Clitty Cat
"My cat really likes to come sit on me while I'm masturbating. For some reason, he believes that the moment I start watching porn is the moment for prime cuddling. There have also been many times where I've finished and turned to my side to find him just staring and enjoying the moment."
7. Bringing Toys Into the Bedroom
"In the middle of a lovely afternoon romp with my husband, our sweet Pekingese brought in his nastiest, most foul-smelling toy with the loudest squeaker possible and proceeded to stare into our souls while squeaking his toy. We thought we could ignore it until he brought said toy over to the bed and dropped it in my husband's mouth. It was a really beautiful moment."
8. Deep Grunting
"When my wife and I were first dating, my cat used to go to the litter box in the bedroom and loudly grunt while dropping a deuce."
9. Jack Rustling the Sheets
"In college, my boyfriend’s Jack Russell terrier licked his butthole during the action."
10. Use PROTECCtion
"My then-girlfriend and I were having sex in the bedroom one night. My dog was just relaxing on her bed on the floor. There was plenty of soft moaning going on already, but whenever things started getting a little more intense, I gradually got a little louder. Right when I was about to cum, my dog thought I was being hurt and suddenly jumped up on the bed practically on top of us and got all in my face looking so concerned."
11. Cat Nip
"Y'all, my husband and I were having sex when our cat hopped up on the bed and licked my nipple. I guess she saw my husband doing it and wondered what the fuss was about?"
12. Sex and the "SOOOOOOOOOEY!!!!!!!!"
"If you’ve ever been in the company of a potbelly pig, you’ll know they are incredibly sweet, but squeal at the frequency of a damn jet engine. We kept her cage closed, but there was no morning sex for probably five years due to the unfailing 6 a.m. hunger-squealing outside our bedroom door."
13. Go Get the Ball!
"I have three nosey dachshunds. They require stairs to get on my bed, so when I want a bit of fun time with a guy, I just push the stairs away so they can’t get up there. But one time, one of them made the jump from the stairs to the bed and stuck his cold wet nose on the guy's balls. I thought I was gonna have to peel the poor guy off the ceiling."
"My boyfriend and I were having sex in the living room when his mom's chihuahua walked in and started staring at us. She then started coughing and choking while my boyfriend was in mid-thrust."
15. Heavy Petting
"I was giving a guy a hand job when my cat came in, demanding to be pet. Well, I attempted to multitask, but I ended up doing a weird combo of petting and rubbing to my cat and the guy's penis. A 'pat your head and rub your belly' kind of thing."
16. Pillow and Chill
"Our dog is very pack-minded, especially when it’s...private time. She’ll get her freak on with the nearest floor pillow while we’re on the bed. Her antics do NOT go unnoticed, unfortunately."
"When my boyfriend and I were trying out spanking, my dog came out of nowhere and laid across my behind, guarding my swollen, hand-printed butt."
18. Watch Dog
"Every time my boyfriend and I have sex, my chihuahua starts to jump furiously under the bed. If we stop, he stops. Once we moved to the living room floor, only for my boyfriend to look through the doorway to the bedroom and see my dog watching us and humping along. Again, when we stopped, he stopped and waited for us to start again."
19. Peeping Tom Cat
"My wife and I were making out on our bed, slowly starting to undress each other, when all of a sudden, we stopped and looked at each other. We both had the feeling we were being watched. Sure enough, we looked over and there was our cat, sitting like a person, leaning on one of our pillows, dick out and his paw rubbing it. We haven't looked at him the same way again."
20. Getting Service-d Dog
"I was going down on my boyfriend and my dog was sleeping on the floor. My boyfriend couldn’t cum because the dog was breathing so loudly that when my boyfriend would get close, he’d be too distracted by the dog to finish. Needless to say, I was down there a while."
21. Flash Flood
"Our 150-pound Landseer Newfoundland did not understand the sounds his mothers were making one night and panic-peed in the bedroom. Do you know how much urine a 150-pound dog has in him? A LOT."