Recently, a Reddit user asked in r/AskReddit: "What in real life sex doesn't happen in porn?"
Naturally, the sex-havers of Reddit have stepped up to the plate sharing what happens in their bedrooms that would classify as pornographic outtakes. Here's what they had to say:
1. "When you press your chests together and the trapped air in between makes a fart as it escapes."
2. "When they lose their erection while changing positions."
3. "'Can you take your cat out of here? He's just sitting there staring.'"
4. "Sneezing. My wife sneezed during sex once and I thought her cooch was going to snap my dick in half. I screamed. She laughed."
5. "Going to the bathroom to pee afterwards."
6. "Putting your hand out to steady yourself and accidentally pulling their hair in the process."
7. "Doing a new position, figuring out it doesn't work, and laughing about it."
8. "The cleanup."
9. "The happiness. It’s all 'sexy' sex. There is a lot of smiling, affection, laughing and having fun. Most times in porn, it’s just a fake lust. Real life is a lot more fun, and a lot happier, I find."
10. "Putting a towel down to keep the sheets clean. No one wants to sleep on that wet spot."
11. "Muscle cramps."
12. "Resuming normal life afterward. You never see people in porn getting dressed up after, and casually talking about resuming their day like, 'Alright, gonna do some laundry now. Got anything you need to put in the washer before I start it?'"
13. "Bumping heads."
14. "People not finishing."
15. "Your kids running in (we put them to bed 30 minutes ago!!!)."
16. "Drying up all of the sudden. It's the equivalent of the 'Nah, thanks. I guess I'll take a nap now' penis."
17. "'Hang on, gotta pee. Need anything from the fridge?'"
18. "Getting stabbed by the IUD."
And lastly:
19. "They never show the high five at the end."
Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.