Since a lot of travel is picking back up, I am — once again — anxiously thinking about all the in-flight sins I may have unknowingly committed.
So, in hopes of NOT committing said sins, I decided to ask the flight attendants of the BuzzFeed Community — aka the people who have to deal with passengers' BS the most readily — to tell me what exactly NOT to do on my next flight. Here's what they said:
1. "Do NOT poke us."
"If you think we can't hear you, press the call button. It's designed to get our attention, and it's much less rude. People poke us in the butt with their trash all the time."
2. "Please stop asking where we're flying over. We don’t know, there isn’t a secret GPS for us flight attendants."
"The pilots are too busy flying you to where you need to be, and we aren’t going to bother them. Most of the time, we make up places when we’re asked."
3. "Our job scope does not include stowing your heavy-ass luggage away in the overhead compartments. If they are heavy to you, they are heavy for us too."
"I don’t mind assisting those who genuinely need help carrying them (the elderly, pregnant ladies, or moms carrying kids). The able-bodied should not expect such service."
4. "Don't ask if it's OK if you use the lavatory when the seatbelt sign is on. We legally can't give you permission and it creates this awkward conversation because we can't even imply permission."
"If it's an emergency, just do what you gotta do, but if the pilots have told the flight attendants to discontinue service and take our seats because of turbulence — or because we're, I don't know, LANDING — it's really the worst time to be up."
5. "Make sure you qualify for an exit seat. If you aren't really willing and able, then don't pretend to be."
6. "When it comes to the call button, do not ring it to have us collect your trash, and do not ring it during taxi, takeoff, landing, or during turbulence unless it's an EMERGENCY."
"And asking if you're going to make your connection is not an emergency. If you want a drink or something after drink service is over, we don't mind if you ring it once, maybe twice if it's a long flight, but don't go wild with it. Most planes have a 50:1 passenger ratio, so we will come by periodically to collect trash. Trash is NOT an emergency. Ringing it if you spill a drink and need paper towels is understandable."
7. "Please don't tell your child the flight attendant will be angry with them if they misbehave. That’s not fair to us."
8. "Please don’t reach up while you’re sitting in your seat and open the overhead bin to grab your bag out. You could pull something out and hit another passenger."
9. "Keep your nasty feet off of everything on the plane. Wear your damn shoes!"
10. "We don’t know if you’re going to make your connection. Stop asking."
11. "Do not hand me trash when I do not have gloves/a trash bag, especially if I am actively passing out food. Cross contamination and general rudeness."
12. "Do not record us. It's actually against safety regulations. It's also rude."
13. "Please, PLEASE keep elbows and feet out of the aisle!!!"
14. "Wear your dang shoes to the bathroom. There is pee all over the floor."
15. "Things need to be stowed COMPLETELY for takeoff and landing."
"This is not only to prevent items from moving around the plane, but also to prep for evacuation. If there's an emergency and it's immediate life or death, you will trip over those bags and fumble around open tray tables. Someone going down the aisle will trip over anything remotely in the way. If you're in an exit row, this is extra important."
16. "Don't stand in the aisle as soon as the seatbelt light goes off."
"Most of the time, you still have to wait in the jet bridge to get your valet tagged luggage, so pushing your way off the plane first is not saving you any time."