Dating: It can be hard, confusing, and just so, so complicated???
Because we're all in need of some romantic guidance sometimes, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the best dating advice they've ever heard, and YUP, they delivered! Here are some of the most insightful pieces of advice they shared.
1. "You don’t have to give anyone a date because 'they are nice.' If you’re not at least mentally attracted to someone, that probably won’t change to a romantic attraction."
"Don't feel bad for not liking someone who was 'perfectly nice'. It's okay that you didn't feel anything, and it doesn't mean you or he is a bad person — it just means you're both good people who aren't compatible. I think sometimes we (including myself) get too used to someone being 'wrong' when things go south that we forget that no one has to be 'wrong' for it to not work out."
3. "Plan short first dates with determined timelines."
"Like, I used to work 3–11, so I would have lunch dates at 1–1:30. So if the date sucked, I just dipped and said I had to go to work, which wasn’t untrue! Sometimes I got to work a little too early. Truth is, you know within the first hour or so if you're into them (five minutes for me, but who’s counting??), so don’t give them more time than that. And never feel bad about shutting it down. If it ain’t right, it ain’t right."
4. "When you begin dating someone, don't worry about what they think about you. Worry about what you think of them."
5. "Rejection is protection."
"If you get turned down by someone, that means they weren’t meant for you and the universe is redirecting you."
6. "For online dating, truth in advertising is the best way to find a match."
"Post a picture of yourself as you are filling out your profile so folks can see what you look like on a normal day. Talk about dates you’d like to go on. If you’re doing it right, you only need to attract one person — so give them the info to be attracted to the real you."
7. "Be upfront about your hardline truths early in the relationship."
"Whether it's financial management, having or not having children, religion, WHATEVER, be upfront. Don't hide that stuff and hope someone will fall for you and then spring it on them. That is unfair to both of you. If you are tricking someone into loving you so you're not lonely, but you or they have to sacrifice an enormous truth for the relationship, (I cannot stress this enough) that relationship is absolutely doomed to a lack of fulfillment and probably resentment."
"For example, you don't want to find out they do want to have kids and you don't. You both will be miserable because one of you will not have the situation/life you want because the other got what they want. Sometimes, these things are just binary and there is no getting around that."
8. "Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having."
9. "You're not dating yourself, so stop thinking that they will do, like, say, and/or love everything that YOU DO."
"You are two completely separate people with common interests, not the SAME PERSON. This is more for long-term relationships and living together."
10. "If a date is going badly, you can leave right then and there. Even if the appetizers haven’t even been served. You owe no one your time or discomfort."
11. "Pay attention to the little red flags or things that irritate you about someone early on. They won't go away, and oftentimes, they end up being the things that end a relationship."
"For example, if someone's flaky, they're probably always gonna be flaky. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to tolerate that behavior, because over time, these little things tend to wear you down and become big things."
12. "Actions speak louder than words!"
13. "Sometimes, you have to put feelings aside and look at their actions; sometimes. you have to put aside what you feel and remember what you deserve."
14. "If someone likes you, you’ll know it."
"If they’re not interested, you’ll be confused or constantly questioning whether they like you or not."
15. "After a first date, if you have to question how you feel about seeing that person again, then that means it's a no."
"I could've had a perfectly nice time, but after it's over I usually ask myself: 'How would you feel if you never saw this person again?' If the answer is 'relieved' or even 'I'd be okay with that,' then you should not go out with that person again. I know some people might say to give someone several chances before making this call, but so far, this strategy has worked well for me. Go with your gut!"
16. "Don’t waste your time on someone who needs to be 'fixed.'"
"Despite what romantic comedies might make you think, scumbags don’t magically become better people when they find 'The One.' That’s just a lame trope used in movies that insinuates women are somehow responsible for how men act."
17. "It's okay for a woman to ask a man out!"
"I missed out on potential relationships because I was worried about what people would think if I made the first move. After missing out with a guy I know liked me but was quite shy, I finally plucked up the courage to ask out a guy I liked...Reader, I married him."
18. "Always communicate."
"Even if they hurt you unintentionally, always speak up because they will never learn and they won’t realize it. I’m speaking from personal experience."
19. "If you’re doing online dating, don’t spend ages building the other person up in your head before meeting them."
20. "Look out for red flags disguised as 'nice' behaviors. If you feel like it’s too much too soon, listen to your gut."
21. "Don’t try too hard."
"This is cliché, but also so true! Don’t work at finding someone like it’s your job. I met my boyfriend at a bar I went to after a workout. I was totally sweaty and gross. It’s been 10 years now. The stress and angst and upkeep of dating was turning me into someone I would never able to pull off long-term."
22. And lastly, "You might be the sweetest, juiciest, ripest peach on the tree, but some people just don't like peaches."
"It basically means you can be the best that you can be, but still not be to everyone's taste...and that's okay. There are a lot of people who love peaches!"
What's the best piece of dating advice you've ever heard? Tell us in the comments!
Submissions have been edited in length and/or clarity.