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1. Don't be afraid to eat like a pig...
2. Remember the golden rule: NEVER SHARE FOOD!
3. Avoid Working out at all costs
4. Just give up on doing anything that will make you sweat
5. Don't forget about sleeping and binge watching Netflix
6. Just make sure you have your priorities straight
7. Wait, let's not forget about alcohol
8. Make sure every social event you attend revolves around eating
9. Always wear comfortable clothing
10. Be direct with you food
11. Remember it is acceptable to be rude to those who offer you fruit/vegetables
12. Also remember that you're eating for the safety of others...
13. Most importantly, have Domino's on speed dial
14. #YOURWELCOME
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