Online Commenters: Why Is Everyone So Angry?

The scariest part of writing online these days is reading the comments. When did everyone get so angry?

I love blogging for Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post and on my own blog, Hot Flashes of Inspiration. My posts have opened up some great opportunities for me and I have enjoyed connecting with a wide range of readers my personal blog would never have attracted. There is one drawback, however, that is greatly disturbing to me: The comments.

While some dear readers take the time to write a thoughtful and kind comment, the vast majority of commenters leave remarks making you wonder if I just ran over their dog:

"You are an embarrassment to all women". Wow, and I wasn't even trying. Imagine what I could do if I really some effort into it.

"You are a needy & whiny bitch. Get Over Yourself". Seems my ex-husband is following me now.

"Your posts are stupider than anything I ever read". Another charmer penned by a user named "The Box of Rocks".

Even better are the commenters who tell me my reflections on my personal experiences are wrong and then launch into a thousand-word description of their own similar experience complete with instructions on how I should have felt. When I wrote back to one woman explaining I never intended to speak for everyone, she relented and said she was sorry but no one ever listened to her. Didn't matter what the topic was; she just wanted to fight back against people who never took her seriously. And she chose my post to go all "The Breakfast Club" on The Man. Great.

I decided to do some research into this phenomenon to see if there were some common traits of nasty commenters and whether or not an unstable mental history is a prerequisite to signing up to comment. No prior arrests? No meds? Family tree branching a little too far from your second cousin/brother? Sorry, you can't be a commenter.

In the New Yorker article titled "The Psychology of Online Comments", author Maria Konnikova cites a phenomenon called online disinhibition effect termed by psychologist, John Suler. According to Dr. Suler, the anonymity of online commenting gives some people a sense of power not otherwise experienced in their lives therefore, in their minds, giving them the courage to say things they normally wouldn't say. The article goes on to quote social cognitive psychologist, Alfred Bandura: "Personal responsibility becomes more diffused in a group, people tend to dehumanize others and become more aggressive toward them".

To sum, people talk out of their asses when you can't hunt them down and leave dog shit in their mailbox for leaving a nasty comment and join in with other creepers when someone starts the bashing. Some websites have gone as far as to ban comments because they feel the negativity and mob mentality of the commenters denigrates the integrity of their articles. I can see where they are coming from but I get a lot of great ideas from my commenters (even the nasty ones) and enjoy the sense of community I feel with my readers.

As a writer, I am used to having my work criticized and I welcome constructive advice as long as it is presented in a respectful manner. It it my goal to make you laugh and see the humor in every day occurrences but I can't please everyone. Some may read my work and LOL! while others may lament the fact they have just wasted two minutes they could have been reading The Bloggess with guaranteed laughs.

I can live with that. What I can't handle is being called a "Fat Suck-Face Ho."

If you are an online commenter, what are your thoughts? Have you ever left a not-so-nice message and, if so, did you find dog shit in your mailbox the next day?