1. America, meet Paul Ryan’s hair.
2. It is a very serious hair.
3. It is not messing around.
4. It is shiny.
8. Everything is in its right place.
9. Just making sure.
10. Yep, perfect.
11. Even this tiny dangler seems intentional.
12. This is a man whose hair is never in need of cutting.
13. It’s like magic.
14. He must travel with someone.
15. “Just this much off the top.”
16. Paul Ryan’s hair is what balanced the budget.
17. You could set your clock by it.
18. I mean, really.
19. The hair of a serious man.
20. DAT HAIR.
21. P.S. We don’t talk about the beard.
Never talk about the beard.