1. You have been turned down by a yellow taxi.2. You have told your driver things like “Apnar meter kharap”.3. You’ve heard drivers tell you things like “Sergeant case diye debe”.4. You have entered a one-way lane at the wrong time.5. You have referred to a speeding bus driver as ‘bokachoda’.6. You have been called a ‘bokachoda’ by a bus driver.7. You have been stuck in traffic because of a rally.8. You have asked someone in the bus or the auto, “Chepe boshun”.9. You’ve heard the bus conductor say “Aaste ladies pete kole baachcha”.10. You have feared for your life on a hand-pulled rickshaw.11. You do not understand the concept of metered, non-sharing autos.12. You have complained about the parking fee being way too high.13. You have complained about the traffic.14. You have complained about the gorom.15. You have complained about the sheeth.16. You have complained about your biryani not having enough aloo and mangsho.17. You have complained about Didi.18. You have complained about how Kolkata just does not have enough places to chill.19. You have asked a random kaku for ‘khuchro’.20. You have excused yourself by saying, “Ektu dekhi”.21. You have stepped out in a "manki tupi" when it was 20 degrees outside.22. You have asked the puchka wala for more jhaal.23. And you have asked him for a "fau" puchka with extra lonka.24. You have had a holiday from school/college/work because of a Bengal Bandh.25. You have seen floating (and probably dead) cockroaches and rats on a waterlogged street.26. You have lost at least one of your "chotis" in a waterlogged street.27. You have ruined at least one your "chotis" by stepping into the "kada" caused by rains.28. ‘Ei’ is your preferred way of referring to people.29. You have a favorite kathi roll shop and you defend it aggressively.30. You have a go-to shondesh shop in your para.31. And the shop is either called “Maa Tara” or “Dinobondhu”.32. Your kaajer maashi beats Gossip Girl any given day.33. For you, Gariahat Market has all the awesome bargains.34. And you visit South City and Quest only in order to escape the heat.35. You read The Telegraph at home.36. Your daily struggle is to decide whether to carry a chhata for the rodh or for the brishti.37. And that chhata is almost always black and from Mohendra Lal Dutt.38. You have wondered if the ghost from Writer’s Building is actually Mamata Didi.39. You have at least one friend from South Point.40. You celebrate two Valentine’s Days – one on actual Valentine’s Day and the other during Saraswati Pujo.41. You miss Music World every time you see Au Bon Pain.42. You are expected to bring roshogulla, shondesh, Flurys and Nahoum's for your friends, every time you travel.43. You think Kolkata Metro is still the best.44. You think Indian Coffee House could give Starbucks a run for its money.45. You have still not come to terms with Dada leaving KKR.46. You think of trying out the new cool cafes but somehow always end up in Park Street.47. Regardless of your background, you know that Christmas time in Kolkata is where it's at.48. According to you, a rain soaked maidan is the most beautiful sight in the world.49. You’ve gone out of your way to throw shade at someone who has mocked Kolkata.50. And for you, Calcutta always trumps Kolkata.
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You put the pro in probashi. Get outta here, Greg Chappell.
You are one of those people who thinks Victoria's Secret can be found inside Victoria Memorial. Even Didi is disappointed.
Eeeesh! You still have a long way to go. Visit Kalighat for some wisdom.
You are almost there, but you look like you need some Arsalan Biryani in your stomach.
You are the ilish maach of my eye and the cool breeze of Howrah Breej. Bolo O for Omitabh : *Puts a Roshogulla in your mouth*