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The 13 Characteristics Every Chipotle Customer Should Have

Because Chipotle employees shouldn't be the only ones who have to meet certain standards.

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1. Openness to Change

Especially when you've gotta give that change away to pay extra for guacamole.
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Especially when you've gotta give that change away to pay extra for guacamole.

2. Basic

You order the burrito bowl because "'tortilla' is Mexican for gluten".
Flickr: saechang

You order the burrito bowl because "'tortilla' is Mexican for gluten".

3. Sophisticated

Paramount Pictures / Via wordpress.com

Too sophisticated to go to Taco Bell, but not so much that you're willing to drive 5 more minutes to a decent Mexican restaurant.

4. The Opposite of Busy

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If you eat at Chipotle, you better free up your schedule and pencil in a food coma for 1 in the afternoon.

5. Hungry

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You can't just be like, "I could go for a burrito bowl right about now". Your digestive system needs to prepare itself for the most massive inward and outward flow of the freshest locally grown ingredients that the land of Ohio could possibly cultivate. That's how hungry you gotta be!

6. Adaptable

"I'm on a diet of just unconventionally raised steak. How much conventionally raised steak is in one unconventionally raised steak? My doctor says I can't have too many conventions in my diet."
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"I'm on a diet of just unconventionally raised steak. How much conventionally raised steak is in one unconventionally raised steak? My doctor says I can't have too many conventions in my diet."

7. Unpleasant

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You're a customer, it's in your DNA.

8. Articulate

NBC / Via http://foodriotcom.c.presscdn.com

"I'll have some of that white stuff and 2 spoonfuls of that green sludge."

9. Indecisive

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Let everyone in on your systematic decision-making process by trying to decide between ordering your usual chicken burrito or if you should try something completely different like a carnitas salad.

10. Clever

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A true Chipotle customer is inventive enough to fill their free water cup with soda.

11. Knowledgeable

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You are well aware of the Secret menu and you take full advantage of it during the lunch rush with an employee who's still in-training.

12. Curious

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Especially about how much extra everything this employee can stuff in this burrito before it bursts.

13. Infectiously Enthusiastic

You're so passionate about Chipotle that you turn to social media to announce to the world how much you crave a single burrito.
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

You're so passionate about Chipotle that you turn to social media to announce to the world how much you crave a single burrito.

Ladies: You don't need a man... You need Chipotle!

Buster | Radio@BUSTERradio

Ladies: You don't need a man... You need Chipotle!

7:52 PM - 17 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Too much sexual innuendo in one tweet

Just woke up.....I need chipotle in me like right freakin now. Anyone down to come?

Alex Rogers@alexinheaven_

Just woke up.....I need chipotle in me like right freakin now. Anyone down to come?

2:55 PM - 28 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

You mean the general feeling of hunger?

Does anyone else suffer from that disease that makes you crave chipotle 24/7

Sarah@heysarahxox

Does anyone else suffer from that disease that makes you crave chipotle 24/7

8:26 PM - 29 Nov 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

It's always nice to hear that people still have goals.

I need to lose my chipotle virginity wtf

@bootyxo

I need to lose my chipotle virginity wtf

8:47 PM - 20 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

This is a fan fiction just waiting to be written.

One day my wife and i are gonna make love inside a 50 foot chipotle chicken bowl

Greg@Now_Thats_Fresh

One day my wife and i are gonna make love inside a 50 foot chipotle chicken bowl

7:13 PM - 24 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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