11 Signs You're Secretly A Senior Citizen

Chances are if you're reading this, you are probably a senior citizen.

1. You drive a white Honda Accord.

Vroom, Vroom.

2. Life Alert has saved you multiple times.

Because sometimes you fall and you just cant get up.

3. You bump NPR News on a regular basis instead of Top 40 hits.

Who's this Ariana Grande anyway?

4. Knitting was a hobby before all these college girls started doing it.

5. An ideal night consists of going to bed at 9:30.

6. The Home Shopping Network is where you get all your essential knickknacks.

Because state plates are essential to your cabinet display.

7. Bowls of just... stuff just appear randomly.

Sometimes snacks, sometimes keys, sometimes keys and snacks.

8. Driving above the speed limit is ANARCHY.

Slow is safe.

9. You shop at Trader Joe's.

So many sales, so little ability to walk down the aisle.

10. To live without comfy shoes is to have an unlivable existence.

11. Fly south for the winter or bust.

Primarily in Ft. Lauderdale and surrounding coastal cities because your arthritis acts up in those chilly Northern states!