1. You drive a white Honda Accord.
2. Life Alert has saved you multiple times.
3. You bump NPR News on a regular basis instead of Top 40 hits.
4. Knitting was a hobby before all these college girls started doing it.
5. An ideal night consists of going to bed at 9:30.
6. The Home Shopping Network is where you get all your essential knickknacks.
7. Bowls of just... stuff just appear randomly.
8. Driving above the speed limit is ANARCHY.
9. You shop at Trader Joe's.
10. To live without comfy shoes is to have an unlivable existence.
11. Fly south for the winter or bust.
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