Straight Men Are Revealing All The Things They Avoid For Seeming "Gay," And OMG It's So Ridiculous
"Putting on sunscreen."
As a card-carrying homosexual myself, I am frequently disturbed by how many basic, everyday activities straight men avoid simply because they don't want to "look gay."
And this week on Reddit, a thread by user The_WereArcticFox asked straight men a VERY eye-opening question: "What is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay'?"
The thread quickly went viral, as thousands of straight men started sharing the ridiculous things they've been called "gay" for doing. Here are some responses that show just how fragile masculinity can be:
1. "Sitting with my legs crossed. My brothers and friends often teased me and couldn't understand how that was possible, unless I was gay."
2. "Having a nightly/daily skin care regimen."
3. "My wife was told by her mother that she shouldn't carry a rose-colored diaper bag because it could confuse our infant son."
4. "Not me, but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest-man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history."
5. "I was taking prescription-strength painkillers after surgery. My friend came over to check on me. Her boyfriend (now ex) thought it was gay to take painkillers and told me to be a man."
6. "At work I once complimented another man on his outfit. My male coworkers looked at me as if I had asked if he had naked photos of himself I could see."
7. "Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, or using a straw."
8. "Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy."
9. "One time, a girl thought I was gay because I was attentive during sex. I'm not even joking."
10. "Carrying an umbrella."
11. "Knowing the names of different kinds of clothing. In the one specific case I can recall, I was apparently 'gay' for knowing what a balaclava was."
12. "Putting on sunscreen."
13. "I've been told wearing a face mask, or PPE in general, is 'gay.'"
14. "[I was called 'gay' because] I said I like it when it rains."
15. "A friend once told me I was holding my fork in a gay kind of way."
16. "Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded."
17. "My girlfriend once seriously asked me if I was gay because I said that I liked her body."
18. "I was told that I was gay because I enjoyed anal sex with a WOMAN."
19. "Playing as a female video game character."
20. "Broke a guy’s jaw in high school, sent him a get well card while he was in the hospital. He called me gay for sending the card."
21. "My mom told me to stop complaining about my migraine because, 'That's not very straight of you.'"
22. "Hugging my best friend. We don't do that handshake-hug-over-one-shoulder-and-pat-on-the-back bullshit, we fucking embrace. Some people think that's 'gay,' but we don't care. We enjoy each other."
23. "When I was in high school, everyone thought I was gay because I wore a scarf to school one day."
24. "I know a guy who refuses to eat pussy because he says it's gay."
25. "Washing my asshole. Friend of mine once said, 'Everyone knows that's gay, you can miss me with that.' Apparently, you are only allowed to wash your cheeks and let suds run down your crack."
26. "My granddad once told me not to brush my hair because 'looking pretty is for women and the gays.'"
27. "I had a guy tell me that masturbation was gay. As he put it, 'You're jacking off a bloke, even if that bloke is you.' I responded that it must be incest too, as it's a man who is part of your immediate family. He thought THAT was crazy talk."
Alright, straight men reading this: Now it's YOUR turn. What things have you been told were ~gay~? Sound off in the comments, please.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.