Sharing someone's nude photos without their consent is more than just a horrific violation of trust — in many cases, it's a crime. And for the victims, the experience can be traumatizing.
A recent viral Reddit thread from user u/AvGDz asked, "People who had their nudes leaked/sexually exploited, how did it affect your life?"
Read on for some of the top-voted responses from users — and let them serve as a reminder that you should never, ever violate someone's consent by sharing their private photos.
Note: Some responses contain mentions of suicide, self-harm, sexual assault, and sexual abuse involving minors.
1. "I had mine leak from when I was a minor. Absolutely ruined my early 20s in every aspect. I didn’t dare date, I had no friends, because the pictures would always end up being sent somehow to anyone I allowed myself to get close to. I almost killed myself to get it to stop. I was caught just before and ended up filing a police report, which was traumatizing in and of itself — 10,000/10, would not do again."
2. "My ex-husband sent around my nudes when he was angry with me. I didn't find out until a year later. I was devastated that none of the people who received them told me what he'd done, or even told him how fucked up it was. I ended a lot of friendships because of it, which was sad for me, but those friends were toxic and I'm better off. I am mostly emotionally healed, but every time there is a celebrity leak, I get really triggered, and I lose respect for anyone who shares stuff like that."
3. "Someone stole my husband's phone, broke into it, and uploaded all the pictures he had of me onto my husband's own Instagram. So it wasn’t some random strangers seeing these pictures, it was our own friends and family. It was so embarrassing, I must have gotten 50 phone calls that night asking what was going on and why my husband would post all these naked pictures of me. I was pretty embarrassed for a while, and it was awkward running into some of the people who saw them. But thankfully, none of them were too crazy, and now it’s just something we can all laugh about."
4. "I can’t take pictures like that anymore without feeling ashamed."
5. "I had my nudes leaked in high school. I think I was maybe 15 or 16 at the time. It absolutely wrecked me mentally, and I still think about it from time to time. Some people I didn’t even know had the balls to come up and show me in the hallway between classes, but most others just talked behind my back. I’m not sure which was worse — the people coming up to me, or walking into a room and knowing everyone was just talking about me. I ended up making myself physically sick, and I passed out and was out of school for a few days. I thankfully had a small group of friends who stuck with me through that, but I really withdrew socially as well and quit varsity sports because the photos got shared to other schools."
6. "Male here. What I thought was a Tinder match turned Zoom-call phone sex turned out to be a scammer who threatened to release my half of the video to all my Facebook friends. At the time, my FB was fairly public, so they did indeed have access to my friends list, which they showed me. And also showed me a link to the video. I ended up paying their ransom of $200. I have now made my entire FB private so only friends can see anything, including my info and friends list."
7. "I had an ex send out nudes of me after I broke up with him. Instead of getting mad or pretending it didn't happen, I invited my friends over to make jokes about it. I poked fun at myself, at my average member, and let them also have at it. I feel like that really cleared the air, and I moved on with my life. Being seen nude is really not a big deal; we all basically look the same. I was not going to let that bring me down."
8. "My senior year, my high school boyfriend sent pics of me (that he forced me to take and send him) to basically everyone in my school and surrounding schools because he got mad at me. I was already depressed before that, and when he did that, I tried to kill myself. The rest of senior year was rough, but I got over it eventually."
9. "A boyfriend I had in middle school leaked my nudes when we broke up. First person in my town this happened to. 2009-ish. Girls slut-shamed me. Guys brought up the fact that they had seen me naked all the way through high school. Everyone treated me differently. It gave me a very unhealthy relationship with sex. I became accustomed to thinking my only value came from my body. I still struggle with self-worth to this day, actually."
10. "Destroyed my adolescence, pushed me to the edge of suicide (multiple times), shattered my trust in people, and cost me many relationships."
11. "Haven’t had this done to me personally, but had an employee’s vengeful ex send me photos of her doing very explicit things. I had to pull her into my office and tell her. She was mortified. I reassured her that she did nothing wrong, he was a dick, and she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I think she was worried it would have a professional impact, but I never said anything to anyone, and it never changed my opinion of her."
12. "I was exposed in 12th grade, and it ruined me for a bit. I was a virgin, and he was the only guy I sent them to. I lost all trust in men. I would hear people talking about me behind my back and get a weird comment or two from guys I didn’t even know. I didn’t go to prom or take senior pictures. I don’t interact with my extended family anymore because a lot of them went to the same school as me. It continues to affect me to this day. I don’t have any social media because I’m terrified of someone leaking them again. My dream is to become a YouTuber/musician, but I can’t even do that, and that makes me incredibly sad. I’m tearing up right now as I type this. Maybe someday I’ll be able to live fear-free, but for now I’ll just stay in my little bubble."
13. "PTSD and dropping out of college — looking at my own face in the mirror is triggering, showering is triggering, changing clothes, even just trying to go to the bathroom. When I'm not having flashbacks, I’m stuck with brain fog. i was left unable to comprehend my classes, which led to me dropping out. There probably won’t be an arrest; it’s an international case, so it’s out of the FBI's jurisdiction. No way to say how long it’ll take before there’s some 'resolution.'"
14. "Mine got sent around when I was 16 or 17. I’m 21 and still get called a slut. I was sexually assaulted twice by guys i went to school with because apparently I was now 'easy.'"
15. "I was underage by a number of years, dating a much older guy. He posted them online (along with my address and name) when I wouldn’t let him have sex with me a second time. It was humiliating and really broke my trust in relationships for a bit. I learned that a lot of sites don’t care if you are underage, and it takes a lot of threatening to get stuff taken down."
16. "My nudes were leaked by an ex to a major porn streaming site, and I didn’t recover for years. He also linked all of my socials below them, so for a very long time, I was getting request after request from men of all ages. The knowledge that all these strangers were looking at something so private has scarred me for life. For a long time, I experienced suicidal thoughts and found myself taking risks because I didn’t care. I’m better now, but my relationships with men have never recovered."
And finally...
17. "When I was in my early 20s, I dated a man who was mid-30s. When I ended things after a few months, he sent pictures of me to many, many mutual friends. I pressed charges and had to testify in court about my naked pictures, and he went to jail. I still have anxiety when I think about it, but I’m glad I did it."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.
If you've been the target of revenge porn, the Federal Trade Commission has outlined some resources available to you, as well as some steps you can take to protect yourself.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.