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    People Are Sharing The Early Warning Signs That A Partner Is Abusive, And Some May Surprise You

    Gaslighting, love bombing, and other signs you should watch out for.

    This week, Reddit user u/Hotfoxk sparked a viral conversation across the internet when they asked: "What are early signs of an abusive partner?"

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    Here are some of the top-voted responses from users:

    1. "They will find ways to separate you from friends and loved ones."

    —u/ErnestDoodler

    2. "They don't respect your boundaries."

    —u/SuperOliverTwist

    3. "Whatever you do, they always make it sound like it's nothing important. Downgrading it, belittling it, anything of the sort."

    —u/arafille

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    4. "When every one of their exes is 'crazy.'"

    —u/AdministrativeGap1

    5. "They get angry and offended when confronted about their own issues, and gaslight you into saying sorry or believing that it is YOU who has to do better in the end."

    —u/pat-pat-says-the-cat

    6. "Gaslighting. Somehow, everything is always your fault and never theirs, and they'll beat you so much with their version of the truth, you start to believe it. They will belittle your argument or dismiss it."

    —u/PriorYoghurt

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    7. "When they are surrounded by assholes. Their ex was an asshole. Their boss is an asshole. This thing happened today and can you believe what happened...their bad luck with other people seems uncanny."

    —u/lickykicky

    8. "When it's a lot early on. You're the only one who understands. Never met anyone like you before. It's a real connection. Soulmates. They say they love you quite fast. It's a whirlwind of attention and validation."

    —u/lickykicky

    9. "Love bombing. The abuser will go over the top with signs of affection. Constant calls, texts, letters, messages about how they love you. Buying gifts for no reason repeatedly, ranging from small gifts every day to huge gifts every once in a while. On the surface, it can seem like they're just an attentive and giving partner. But love bombing goes further than that, as it's often used to indoctrinate the victim into feeling like they can't complain."

    —u/SG_Dave

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    10. "Sexual entitlement, such as pushing kinks, demanding sex and pouting when denied, or showing sexual jealousy and blaming you for it."

    —u/lickykicky

    11. "Saying, 'If you love me, you'll do [blank] for me.'"

    —u/future-ingenuity

    12. "Tells you that they’re the only one who cares about you, to make you stay with and rely on them."

    —u/floss147

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    13. "Makes promises they never keep — even the little ones — because it makes you look crazy and abusive when you get upset."

    —u/floss147

    14. "Subtle criticism of your clothes, body, and behavior, so you’ll be worn down and have low self-esteem because it makes you more compliant."

    —u/floss147

    15. "Your feelings don't matter, and no matter what happens, everything is your fault. You're trying to talk about a problem and by the end of the conversation you're the one apologizing. My ex-boyfriend never once uttered the words 'I'm sorry' straightforwardly. If anything, it was always, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'"

    —u/adelinalynn

    Lolostock / Getty Images/iStockphoto

    16. "Controlling behavior — always assuming control, and undermining your ability to do anything yourself."

    —u/TrainingRange

    17. "Threatening to break up with you after every argument."

    —u/Next-Pomegranate

    18. "Threatening suicide if you break up with them."

    —u/cryosyske

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    19. "If they behave badly toward the people they feel most comfortable with (their parents, siblings, close friends). They may be an absolute angel with you, now that you're still in the beginning, but when they get comfortable with you too, they'll treat you the same."

    —u/Leading-Legal

    20. "Saying, 'Look what you made me do.'"

    —u/gor8884

    And finally...

    21. "If you find yourself hiding things about them from other people, or making excuses for them, it’s a huge red flag that you are actively ignoring something that is wrong with your relationship."

    —u/MauiMadMan

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    You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.

    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.