People Are Sharing The Early Warning Signs That A Partner Is Abusive, And Some May Surprise You
Gaslighting, love bombing, and other signs you should watch out for.
Here are some of the top-voted responses from users:
3. "Whatever you do, they always make it sound like it's nothing important. Downgrading it, belittling it, anything of the sort."
5. "They get angry and offended when confronted about their own issues, and gaslight you into saying sorry or believing that it is YOU who has to do better in the end."
6. "Gaslighting. Somehow, everything is always your fault and never theirs, and they'll beat you so much with their version of the truth, you start to believe it. They will belittle your argument or dismiss it."
7. "When they are surrounded by assholes. Their ex was an asshole. Their boss is an asshole. This thing happened today and can you believe what happened...their bad luck with other people seems uncanny."
8. "When it's a lot early on. You're the only one who understands. Never met anyone like you before. It's a real connection. Soulmates. They say they love you quite fast. It's a whirlwind of attention and validation."
9. "Love bombing. The abuser will go over the top with signs of affection. Constant calls, texts, letters, messages about how they love you. Buying gifts for no reason repeatedly, ranging from small gifts every day to huge gifts every once in a while. On the surface, it can seem like they're just an attentive and giving partner. But love bombing goes further than that, as it's often used to indoctrinate the victim into feeling like they can't complain."
10. "Sexual entitlement, such as pushing kinks, demanding sex and pouting when denied, or showing sexual jealousy and blaming you for it."
12. "Tells you that they’re the only one who cares about you, to make you stay with and rely on them."
13. "Makes promises they never keep — even the little ones — because it makes you look crazy and abusive when you get upset."
14. "Subtle criticism of your clothes, body, and behavior, so you’ll be worn down and have low self-esteem because it makes you more compliant."
15. "Your feelings don't matter, and no matter what happens, everything is your fault. You're trying to talk about a problem and by the end of the conversation you're the one apologizing. My ex-boyfriend never once uttered the words 'I'm sorry' straightforwardly. If anything, it was always, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'"
16. "Controlling behavior — always assuming control, and undermining your ability to do anything yourself."
19. "If they behave badly toward the people they feel most comfortable with (their parents, siblings, close friends). They may be an absolute angel with you, now that you're still in the beginning, but when they get comfortable with you too, they'll treat you the same."
21. "If you find yourself hiding things about them from other people, or making excuses for them, it’s a huge red flag that you are actively ignoring something that is wrong with your relationship."
You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.