My friends, Girl Scout cookie season is officially upon us. And with it, come the inevitable arguments about which Girl Scout cookie is actually the best. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Bravo But if you want the actual, honest, 100% scientific answers to these questions, you need to ask an expert. In other words, you need to ask ME. Let's do this. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Columbia Pictures We're gonna start with the worst, and end on the best: 9. Shortbreads/Trefoils girlscouts.org These things are the communion wafers of the cookie world. It's not like they're BAD — they're still cookies, after all — but they're just very plain. The Girl Scouts have given you so many incredible options to choose from. I shudder to think about the kind of person who opts for these. 8. Lemonades girlscouts.org If we're being honest, lemon-flavored cookies are really a snack for the elderly and their allies. But hey, if you like 'em, order a box. Just don't let these be the ONLY flavor you order. There are better ones out there! 7. Savannah Smiles girlscouts.org Again, I don't personally believe that lemon cookies have any real place outside the retirement home, but at least Savannah Smiles have a little more pizzazz to them — by which I mean, they're covered in powdered sugar. So that's something. 6. Thanks-A-Lots girlscouts.org These are basically just their shortbread cookies but dipped in fudge — so the chocolate component does a lot of the heavy-lifting here. Do I dream about these at night? No. Will I eat an entire box of them if it's put in front of me? Sure. Chocolate is chocolate! 5. BOTH types of S'mores girlscouts.org There are actually two different types of S'mores cookies out there, depending on where you live. I've had the privilege of trying both. And despite their wildly different outward presentations, they taste quite similar — like a s'mores, go figure! They're decent enough, but very sweet. These earn the rare distinction of being the only non-bingeable Girl Scout cookie on the market. One or two is enough. You will not finish a whole box of these in one sitting. 4. Peanut Butter Sandwiches/Do-si-dos girlscouts.org The crunchiness of the oatmeal cookie exterior mixed with the creaminess of the peanut butter inside...these guys don't get enough credit, I tell ya. Anyone who likes a little sweet-and-salty action should get into these immediately. They're not the most exciting Girl Scout cookies out there — but they're an underrated option, for sure. 3. Samoas/Caramel deLites girlscouts.org Arguably the keystone species of the Girl Scout cookie ecosystem. These cookies are true, indisputable ICONS, and they deserve our respect. But, I have to be honest here: Samoas are trying a little too hard. The coconut, the caramel, the chocolate, the cookie base...it all just kinda blends together into a whole lot of sweet. Your 8-year-old self loved them for the inevitable sugar rush, and you'll feel a comforting wave of nostalgia every time you tear open a box. But for the more refined, sophisticated, adult palate, there are better choices out there. For example... 2. Tagalongs/Peanut Butter Patties girlscouts.org Whether you grew up calling them Tagalongs or Peanut Butter Patties (Team PBP over here), you knew these cookies were something special. That perfectly smooth milk chocolate covering a mound of creamy peanut butter and crispy cookie........COME THE HECK ON! No Girl Scout order would be complete without at least a few boxes of these.(Also, anecdotally, it has been my experience that dads really, really like these cookies. Have we done any studies on this?) And finally... 1. Thin Mints girlscouts.org Hands down, the greatest Girl Scout cookies of all time. That chocolatey, minty, and crumbly cookie covered in a delightfully waxy layer of chocolate. I am emotional just thinking about them. Put them in the freezer first or eat them straight out of the box. It doesn't matter! These are more than just cookies — they are an investment into your well-being. Eating an entire sleeve of Thin Mints in one sitting is a profound act of self-care. Go do it right now. Goodbye.