One of my favorite characters from New Girl is undoubtedly Nick Miller. He's funny, adorable, and, honestly, just so relatable.
The amount of quotes he has said in the show that just resonate with me on a personal level is astronomical, so here are my favorite ones.
1. “Sure, I could get a girl topless, no bra, with one hollowed-out papaya, some crushed ice, and two fingers of rum...but then I grew up. Now I only want to make a drink a coal miner would want. Straightforward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.'”
2. "You're a whiskey girl, like me."
3. "You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. It's science."
—"Panty Gate" (Season 4, Episode 21)
4. "I'm just trying to figure out the level of Elvis impersonator we can afford. I think a white one is out of reach."
5. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch."
6. "He smells like strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse."
—"Fancyman, Pt. 1" (Season 1, Episode 17)
7. "Well look at that, I've never been an inspiration before. I don't like it, it's too much responsibility."
—"Neighbors" (Season 2, Episode 4)
8. "I like getting older. I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality."
9. "I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."
—"Double Date" (Season 3, Episode 3)
10. "It is perfectly fine to watch TV all day."
11. "I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack, and I haven't arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn't building a bomb, I was just curious."
—"Birthday" (Season 3, Episode 13)
12. "People are the worst!"
13. "I refuse to pay for the wiffy!"
—"Parking Spot" (Season 2, Episode 17)
14. "Adele's amazing."
15. "I want to kill you because I respect you. I think I understand hunting!"
—"Fancyman, Pt. 1" (Season 1, Episode 17)
16. "Boundaries."
17. “Is calling a girl ‘Shorty’ still cool?”
—"Fancyman Pt. 2" (Season 1, Episode 18)
18. "So many emotions."
19. "Can I get an alcohol?"
20. "I'm on a real rollercoaster of emotions right now."
21. "I started from the bottom now I'm here."
22. "I'm full Nick every day."
23. "Leprechauns are real."
24. "Sucks for me!"
25. "I don't want the responsibility."
26. "Nothing is ever truly broken."
27. "Who cares? What's for dinner?"
28. "I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer."
29. "I've got something bad inside of me. I ruin things."
30. "I'm not doing like squats or anything. I'm trying to eat less donuts."
31. "I am so uncomfortable."
32. “If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called ‘talkings.'”
—"The Captain" (Season 3, Episode 4)
33. "I've done things. I wrote half a book about zombies."
34. "I'm having an anxiety attack."
35. "It's a weird life, but it's where I'm at right now."
36. "I look very handsome. I look like I'm on Miami Vice."
37. "The enemy is the inner me."
38. "Life sucks! And then it gets better, and then it sucks again."
39. "My funeral is my time to shine."
40. "Not true. Everything has meaning."
41. "No, Ma, I'm not high."
42. "Don't trust your government, kids."
43. "I feel, like, really warm in my uterus."
44. "It is what it is."
45. "Back off, I'm starving!"
46. "Oh my god, I hate my life."
47. "I opened myself up to love, I was hurt badly, and I closed myself up again."
48. "I'm so nervous I'm gonna screw this up."
49. "I thought I saw something shiny."
50. "I understand your concern and I'll make note of it."
51. "You can't tell me what to do."
52. "Like...'fill my gas tank all the way up' rich."
53. "Do your thing, girl!"
54.
55. "I believe horses are from outer space."
56. "People don't change."
57. "I haven't done laundry in five months"
58. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."
59. "Where are you, Schmidt? This place is fancy, and I don't know which fork to kill myself with."
60.
61. "Oh, hey, ladies, you want to see a grown man cry?"
62. "I will push if I want to push! Come on!"
63. "Mom and Nick seem to be getting along great..."
64. "How about this as a science project: love is a myth."
65. "I'm 30 years old, I don't have health insurance."
66. "I am not a successful adult. I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself."
67. "Be optimistic? Learn? We're all gonna die alone, so..."
68. "Why did you need me for this?"
69. "Guys, please let me hate myself and everything that I have created."
70. "Yeah, I'd trust Beyonce with my life."
71. "I am the stupidest of all the stupid boys."
72. "You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying, the way you're doing it."
—"Tomatoes" (Season 1, Episode 22)
73.
—"Pepperwood" (Season 2, Episode 14)
74.
—"Lillypads" (Season 7, Episode 3)
What's your favorite Nick Miller-ism? Let us know in the comments!
This article contains content from Stephanie Hope and Allie Hayes. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.