6 New Year's Resolutions By Economic Leaders

Too bad these resolutions weren't for 2013...Better late then never?

1. Obama...

Via nymag.com

In 2014, I pledge on improving my golf swing, finally getting Sunny a dog trainer and - wait...wasn’t I supposed to fix the economy or something?

2. Ben Bernanke...

Via biosocket.com

Enough with all this U.S. economy stuff. I'm moving my money to the Cayman Islands in 2014...unless Goldman Sachs calls me, which they will.

3. Janet Yellen...

Via animated-disney-gifs.tumblr.com

In 2014, I plan to do a new QE cleanse, and brush off my magic wand to fix the economy...You can just call me the market’s fairy godmother.

4. Congress...

Via indigogoat.com

In 2014, we pledge to pool our money together to buy 535 helmets. We’ll need to protect ourselves when we hit the debt ceiling in January.

5. Wall Street...

Via fyeahviolet.tumblr.com

I’m too fat and lazy from the free government buffet. While I’ve been losing some weight over the last year by shedding non-performing assets (i.e., employees), in 2014, I pledge to pack on a few pounds and grow without the help of government by hiring people and increasing revenue.

6. Main Street...

Via complex.com

In 2014, I’m changing my Facebook relationship with Wall Street to “it’s complicated,” because I’m pretty sure they have been cheating on me with QE. I pledge to not be in an abusive relationship and stick-up for myself more.

Happy New Year!