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I Know I'm A Fatty When...

(Yes, I really ate that much.)

I eat a whole sleeve of Oreos

Devour a whole bag of chips

Go to town on a can of Pringles

Finish off the guacamole

Eat. All. The Wheat Thins

Make off with all the mini donuts

Opt for the supersize

Don't leave a single fry at the bottom of the bag

Double down on a, erhh, Double Down

Eat the whole pizza by myself

Get extra bacon

Lick the plate clean

Make a drunk run to Taco Bell

Consume all the candy

Have my cake

And eat it too

Get an extra slice of pie

Polish off a pint of ice cream

Oh who am I kidding, it was totally 2

But it's OK because I just had one of those days

And I needed it

And you know what?

I'll totally work out tomorrow

And hit the gym extra hard

To work off all those extra calories

Because that's what I always tell myself, right?

Right!