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The Definitive Ranking From Worst To Best Of Mario Kart 64's Items

Another damn banana?!

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14. Green Shell

Nintendo / Via

The GIF makes it look like a badass item, but IT'S NOT. This thing is 99% useless, because it has no drive. (You know, like that 34-year-old guy living in his parents' basement). The shell just goes willy-nilly and only if you're really lucky will it actually hit someone.

12. Mushroom Boost

Nintendo / Via

This item is about as exhilarating as this photo. It gives you a quick boost, which ONLY matters if you're neck and neck at the finish line with that cute girl from down the street. Sure, you may win, but she's not gonna be back to play again anytime soon.

11. Boo

Nintendo / Via

Yes, Boo was originally an item before the Nintendo Gods let him be a racer. He makes you transparent, but only for a short time. Sounds cool, right? WRONG. The item allows bananas and shells to pass right through you, but you're usually never near any while using it. How convenient.


10. Banana Peel

A single banana can slow an opponent down, but if your friend is smart they'll know to hold down the B button right before spinning out. A music note will appear and they won't slip. Your dastardly plan is foiled.

7. Triple Mushroom Boost

Nintendo / Via

This item can make or break a race, especially if you're in 2nd while your friend's in 1st. Use them at the last moment of the final lap, and you'll beat your loser friend. They'll get pissed, you'll laugh, and the friendship'll go downhill from there.


6. Super Mushroom

Nintendo / Via

This item kinda makes your character looks like he's having convulsions. It gives you unlimited boosts for a short period of time. Use it and crash into your opponents as you fly past them, cacklin'. Downside? Toad seems to be the player who gets it. Dammit, Toad.

5. Red Shell


Look at that precision, that finesse. That's what you'll get with the red shell. It aims for the nearest opponent and BAMMMM, you got 'em. You can even aim it to hit your friend behind you by holding the joystick down when pressing Z. (Same goes for the single green shell, but good luck with that.)


3. Super Star (Starman)

Nintendo / Via

When you hear this, you know it's time to get the hell outta the way. This item makes you invincible for a short time, plowing through any opponent or item as much as you damn well please.

Side note: You can get the Starman in Animal Crossing.

View this video on YouTube

If you only knew how...

2. Lightning Bolt

Yeeeeeah, right. If you get this baby, you're using it and takin' no prisoners. It strikes everyone, making them tiny, and slows 'em down. If you run over the weaklings, they'll flatten like a pancake and you'll feel like a god.


1. Spiny (Blue) Shell

THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' SHELL IS THE BANE OF MARIO KART'S EXISTENCE. Friendships are destroyed because of this damn thing.

Bottom line: It heads straight for the person in first place, and odds are it's you on the final lap. Sucks for you.

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