1.
The season's tagline better be, "You can checkout anytime you like, but you can never leave."
2.
And the main villain should be a tall and skinny red cat with a hot British accent.
3.
Its title needs to be changed to something a little more sinister.
4.
Also, the show can just forego the "hints" to future seasons — Tumblr's way ahead of the game.
5.
One of the episodes better be titled, "Red Rum."
6.
And a character needs to shout, "HERE'S JOHNNY!"
7.
Another character should die in a haunted elevator.
8.
But first, they're trapped in the elevator for HOURS.
9.
Denis O'Hare should have some serious mommy issues.
10.
And Kathy Bates should just reprise her "maid" role from Coven. Delphine LaLaurie was starting to get the hang of it anyway.
11.
Lesbehonest, we need this.
12.
Danny Huston needs to be the hotel manager who snaps and murders all the noisy guests.
13.
People can take a shot every time this name is mentioned during the show — or when there's a random song number.
14.
And one of the random song numbers should be this.
15.
Lady GaGa needs to find herself on the lam for murder, and in possession of a special painting.
16.
And she gets chased by ghosts.
17.
All while wearing the infamous Dress.
18.
The "final girl" business needs to be axed.
19.
And pressing questions damn well better be answered.
20.
Most importantly, Jessica Lange needs to come back.
21.
No, seriously. Come back.
