1. This poor girl who sang the saddest rendition of "Happy Birthday."
2. This unlucky guy whose birthday probably fell on a Monday.
3. This crazy man who lit a ton of sparklers simultaneously.
4. These poor unfortunate souls and their fiery balloons.
5. Beckett, who needs a moment of silence.
6. This ill-fated person who left the cake on top of the car.
7. These parents who now have to explain what a certain word means to Clint.
8. This girl who's now having an existential crisis.
9. This employee who'll suddenly be working weekends for the next month.
10. This woman who came out to have a good time, and is honestly feeling so attacked right now.
11. This card signed to Kim, but the girl's actual name is Tiffanie.
12. This boy who is wishing everyone will just forget this even happened.
