1. You've mastered the eye-roll because it is your natural response to most life situations.
2. You're where happiness goes to die.
3. Your detachment from the world and its joys often lead to people judging you a little... and you not caring furthermore.
4. People call you out for looking perpetually pissed because you've a chronic case of resting bitch face.
5. These are the public figures you relate to on a spiritual level:
6. No matter how hard you try to be more jolly, all efforts go in vain.
7. When someone tells you to "cheer up", "smile more" or "be more social", this is what you want them to know:
8. Your WORST nightmare is being invited to "participate" in social activities.
9. You don't get why people want to celebrate your birthday AND sing "Happy Birthday" to your face.
10. You don't get why people still tell you their stories when you've made clear you weren't interested from the moment they said hello.
11. Karaoke nights are your personal hell because every tone-deaf person in the room is singing the same song real loud.
12. With powers of headphones and highest volume combined, you're a pro at drowning out every human around.
13. The only thing you love about social gatherings is the moment you get leave.
14. The only activities that warm your heart are all non-interactive.
15. Your relentless vexation at the world is the guiding light, helping you get through this miserable life.
16. You just want people to understand this simple truth.
17. And you've accepted your personality resembles that of a steaming turd so nothing hurts anymore.
