10 Adorable Gay Couples From Ancient Greece And Rome

From Hercules to Homer, same-sex love used to be no biggus thingus.

1. Socrates and Phaedo (Cuteness: 8 -- Doomed Love)

Jacques-Louis David / Via bc.edu

Proof that brains are sexy: Socrates was a fat old man and EVERYBODY wanted some of that. But on the last night before his execution, the great philosopher was getting into some major PDA with Phaedo, playing with his hair and inviting him to fight the forces of ignorance "until the sun goes down." UGH. I CRY AND CRY.

2. Julius Caesar and King Nicomedes (Cuteness: 7 -- Wish I Knew How to Quit You)

Unknown / Via spartacus.wikia.com

In his biography, Suetonius says the great dictator of Rome couldn't keep his hands off King Nicomedes of Bythinia, even in the face of mockery and slander. They found love in a hopeless place.

3. Harmodius and Aristogeiton (Cuteness: 10 -- So. Legit.)

Antenor the Sculptor (copy) / Via studyblue.com

Next time someone tells you gays are tearing this country apart, tell them about this power couple from the histories of of Herodotus that literally helped free Ancient Athens and make way for the birth of Western democracy. Yeah. REPRESENT.

4. Zeus and Ganymede (Cuteness: 6 -- Coming on Strong)

Peter Paul Rubens / Via europic-art.com

For the Ancient Greeks, guy-on-guy said nothing about your masculinity. Even the king of the gods did it! Zeus fell so in love with Ganymede he turned into an eagle, scooped him up, and made the official busboy of heaven. Intense, but still cute.

5. Catullus and Iuventius (Cuteness: 1 -- EW EW TOO OLD)

Anonymous / Via theforum-blog.com

Team Be Real, a fair few of these relationships were a little iffy on the age difference thing. It was a different time. The poet Catullus was particularly sketchy with his crush, Iuventius, a name that basically means "young boy." He was always trying to steal surprise kisses and eventually he got super clingy and jealous.

6. Nisus and Euryalus (Cuteness: 10 -- TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR THIS LIFE)

Jean Baptiste Roman / Via histoire-fr.com

The Trojan heroes Nisus and Euryalus were together literally 'till death did them part. They fought and died together to help found Rome in Virgil's Aeneid, and they're held up as models of amor pius, dutiful and patriotic love.

7. Sappho and . . . Some Chick (Cuteness: 5 -- Gets Around)

Simeon Solomon / Via tinker-tinker-tinker.blogspot.com

The great poetess from the island of Lesbos (yup) was always chasing after some girl (or sometimes some guy. She swung both ways). But her poetry is fragmented and doesn't give a lot of detail. Aphrodite was always like "srsly, another one?"

8. Achilles and Patroclus (Cuteness: 8 -- On the DL)

The Sosias Painter / Via wordsforworms.com

Okay, so the movie Troy totally whitewashed this and made them cousins, but would Achilles have swallowed his pride and charged to his death to avenge his cousin? Girl, please. Homer never comes out and says it but basic scholarly consensus is they were doing it.

9. Alexander the Great and Hephaestion (Cuteness: 9 -- Soulmates)

Warner Brothers / Via textsfrommacedonia.tumblr.com

The conqueror of the known world was never far from his companion, Hephaestion. The historian Aelian says they sacrificed at the shrine of Patroclus and Achilles together as a testament to their love. D'AWWWWWWWWW.

10. Hercules and Iaolaos (Cuteness: 4 -- Awkwardly Related)

Renaissance Pictures / Via fanpop.com

The movie leaves a lot out. One of them is that Hercules was a stud and his twink of preference was Iaolaos of Thebes (according to Pindar). Awkwardly, Iaolaos was also Hercules' nephew. But there was a shrine to them where gay couples could go and pray for like, tasteful chenille bedspreads. Or marriage equality.