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Married People Are Confessing The Shocking Secrets They'll "Never, Ever Tell" Their Spouse, And Holy Crap

"I made out with my husband's older brother and sister while he was in the other room."

We asked married people in the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the juiciest secrets they've ever kept from their spouse. Here are the jaw-dropping results.

Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread because they were too wild to not include. Enjoy!

1. "I've slept with all three of my wife's sisters multiple times, and she doesn't know about it yet. I also have a secret child with her oldest sister. She'd kill me if she even heard a rumor about it."

—Anonymous

Oprah staring at the camera

2. "A while ago, things got so bad finance-wise that we couldn't pay the bills for a month. My significant other was working 13-hour days, every day, and I wasn't getting any shifts at work. My parents couldn't help us, so I became a cam model. I earned over $100 in less than an hour, and it paid for our food that month. I only half-stripped, and I chatted a lot about innocent stuff, but I feel weird about it. I know my S.O. would feel totally betrayed, and I hate the fact that other men saw what only he should get to see."

librarygirl

Steve Harvey looking shocked

3. "I'll never tell my wife, but I regularly fantasize about her mom while I pleasure myself."

cturne5

Oprah looking confused

4. "The perfume I got my wife...I got it for her because it smells like my ex. For the record, it's because it smells awesome, but she wouldn't be down with that explanation. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm unhappy with her, but every time I try to bring it up, she ends up getting upset, and we just fight. I really care about her family, though."

bigolrain

Steve Harvey giggling

5. "My wife doesn't know that I know her secret. When we first started dating, it was long-distance. One time she visited me for four days, but I had to work during one of the days. While I was gone, she had to take a dump but clogged the toilet really badly. She couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out, so she went to the kitchen and got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the turds out of the bowl and threw everything in the dumpster out back. She called her friend, panicking, and the friend thought it was hilarious. Years later, the friend told me all about it. I find it funny but don't want to embarrass her, so I'll never tell her that I know."

pinsnneedles

Oprah looking pensive

6. "I got pregnant the very first time my now-husband and I slept together. I was in my very early 20s and didn’t know him well, so there was no question that I'd have an abortion. I never told him about it because I never expected to keep dating him. It was the right call at that time in my life. We've now been together for close to a decade and have two amazing kids. He probably will never know because we’ve built such a great life together, and I think it'd be unnecessary to talk about it."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

7. "My wife used to have an issue with wetting the bed when she was a teenager, and she thinks she's grown out of it. Now, when she wets the bed and I wake up first, I pee on the bed, too, and tell her it was all me."

thetangeman

Oprah looking unphased

8. "I made out with my husband's older brother and sister while he was in the other room. I'll never tell him what happened."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking shocked

9. "My partner found a card in my car for a proposal to marry me...or so she thought. The card was actually meant for another woman I've also been dating for three years."

—Anonymous

Oprah looking at the camera

10. "I've never told my husband that I absolutely HATE the three kids he has from his previous marriage. I've despised them since the moment I met them. I can't stand them. They literally disgust me. They are NOTHING like him."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

11. "I've been married and divorced before, but my current husband thinks this is my first marriage. My first marriage occurred when I was young, and it only lasted about two years. I even lied on my new marriage certificate. I will take this one to the grave."

—Anonymous

Oprah with her eyes widened

12. "A week before I married my wife, I got really drunk with my best friend (a man, like me), and we ended up making out and giving each other BJs. During the whole ceremony, we kept exchanging awkward glimpses. We've never discussed what happened with each other. I never told my wife (or anyone), but I still think about the experience and get all hot and bothered."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

13. "I cheated on my spouse with my coworker. Our marriage was already toxic and unhealthy, to the point where I should’ve walked away. I’m glad I left a few months after cheating, but I will never give them the satisfaction of being right about the coworker, especially when they had no proof other than us being friends."

—Anonymous

Oprah looking impressed

14. "My husband thinks I finished my bachelor's degree. I didn't. I dropped out and faked it for the last semester. That was five years ago, and now we're married. I still haven't told him the truth."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

15. "My boss got me into online gambling. I lost more than $500 incredibly quickly and have kept it a secret from my husband."

woonderwooman

Oprah with her hands in the air saying "so what?"

16. "My partner (female) of six years doesn’t know that, before we met, I (male) used to sleep with men. The experiences were very hot, and I reminisce about them often."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

17. "I went through a six-month period of shoplifting. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, and I just couldn’t stop. One time, I got caught by security at Target, and thankfully, they let me go. It could have ended much, much worse. My husband would NOT be okay with that information, and I'll never tell him."

—Anonymous

Oprah stopping mid-bite

18. "My biggest secret is that I'm only staying married to him for financial reasons. We've been together for 15 years, married for six of them. Our lives are so intertwined that it wouldn't be easy to untangle them. Plus, he doesn't really know how to take care of himself and doesn't make enough to support himself on his own. I make twice as much as him (and have done so the entire time we've been together) and pay all the bills and take care of everything. The cherry on top of this is that I'm also having an affair with his close friend. That wasn't planned, and it's just sex, but it's really the only thing keeping me from just running away from everything right now."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking shocked

19. "I posed for Playboy when I was 18, and I kept it a secret from my husband for years. One day, I finally told him (it’s not something that comes up in conversation very naturally 🤷🏼‍♀️), and he had no problem with it."

Th3FatPanth3r

Oprah holding Stedman's hands

20. "When I was engaged, I was at a friend's wedding and fooled around with another guy. I told my fiancé that the other guy and I only kissed in a random, drunken moment. In reality, we did A LOT more than just one kiss. Now, after more than 10 years of marriage and several kids later, I still feel guilty about it."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

21. "I've been lying to my husband about my eye color for our entire relationship. He has poor eyesight and couldn't originally tell that I wear ultra-realistic prescription color contacts. I've worn color contacts for about 10 years and only take them off to shower and to give my eyes a break. We've been married for five years now, and he still doesn't know that this isn't my actual eye color."

—Anonymous

Oprah looking pensive

22. "My spouse and I quit smoking together soon after we started dating in 2013, but I've been secretly vaping for almost two years now. I know it's absolutely horrible for me, and I think my husband would be really upset/disappointed if I told him, so I've been keeping it to myself."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

23. "I’ve been married twice. My first husband and I got pregnant at 17, and my dad made us get married. We split amicably three years later, but we didn’t get divorced right away due to a lack of funds. We didn’t actually file the paperwork for another six years, which was a year after my second husband and I started dating. I never told him that I was married to someone else during the entire first year of our relationship."

tilley1003

Oprah looking serious

24. "I was sleeping with the rabbi who married my husband and me. My husband is Jewish, and I'm Catholic, so his family rabbi wouldn't perform the ceremony. I called my previous boyfriend, who happened to be an Orthodox rabbi, to perform the ceremony. My husband's family never figured out how I managed to find a rabbi to perform our ceremony."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking confused

25. "When I was single, I had an on-and-off affair with my married best friend for a few years. My husband always asks me if my friend and I have ever hooked up, but I always denied it. I’m not proud of it, but I’ll take that secret to the grave."

—Anonymous

Oprah looking shocked

26. "I've been married for seven years, and I've faked every single orgasm with my husband. I always take care of myself afterward, so as not to upset him. I've even lied about not liking it because I just want it to end."

—Anonymous

Steve Harvey looking shocked

27. And finally, "My mom's friend won about $4.5 million in the lottery and didn't tell her husband for almost two years. He was a real blue-collar guy who just went to work and came home, and she was responsible for all of the finances. One day, she walked into his factory, told him she'd won the lottery, and said everything was paid off and that they were going to both retire. And they did. They are the happiest couple I've ever met."

sharrisf

Oprah happy-crying

Do you have a secret of your own? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.