Things People Who Hate Being Touched Will Relate To

It's not that we don't like you or don't feel comfortable around you, we just DO NOT like being touched... like ever.

1. Simple rules

How are there still people who have trouble understanding personal space?

P.S. Arms length is sometimes still too close.

2. In case society needs further explanation

Volume 2 will be up next: How To Keep Your Hands To Yourself

3. What it looks like:

What it feels like:

4. When someone who is touchy feely comes towards you

Uh oh... you're the one who touches people constantly, correct? Yeah, I'm in a hurry for an appointment.

5. Social events are our favorite!

NOT!

6. And don't get me started on the TICKLING

Paws off, Frank!

7. Trying to explain it to little kids

Let's see how long we can go without touching each other! The winner gets a prize!

8. I feel like we're starting to need this

9. Guess what? It IS possible to have a conversation without grabbing!

I don't care how long we've known each other. No touching!

10. You're still touching me? What is this, an immaturity contest?

PLEASE DON'T. I'M ALREADY AT MY BREAKING POINT IF I HAD TO ASK YOU TO STOP TOUCHING ME.

11. When people insist on grabbing your arm and starting to pull you instead of just saying "follow me".

Uh... Excuse me? I'm capable of following you without being dragged.

12. Trying to explain this without it sounding mean

I'm not mean. I like you. I enjoy being with you. Just... please... *rubs temples* don't touch me... Please.

13. When someone asks you why you don't like being touched

What do you mean, why? Why do you LIKE touching?

14. When someone knows you don't like being touched but they reach out and touch you anyway

IT'S NOT FUNNY!

15. After you tell them over 5 times that you don't want to be touched

You need self control...

16. Getting an urge to do this

What you say: "I don't like being touched".

What society thinks you mean: "I've been traumatized by people and touching brings back bad memories."

What your parents think you mean: "I don't love you anymore."

What your partner thinks you mean: "I'm really mad at you."

What your friends think you mean: "I don't like being around you."

What idiots think you mean: "You should touch me to see how I react."

What you ACTUALLY mean: "I don't like being touched"

17. How is this not an actual law?

18. Other people

Me

19. Having a bed all to yourself

Freedom!

20. When someone hugs you for the zillionth time that day

That's enough

21. When you tell someone 20+ times to stop touching you and they still won't listen

IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME...

22. What you desire to do when people come over

I'll come out if you promise not to touch me!

23. Once you're alone

Gotta get all that grime away

24. Reviewing the reasons why you don't like being touched

It's gross, unhygienic, deeply uncomfortable, threatening, intimidating, invasive, and impolite.

25. And showing that list to friends

26. And of course, the list of people you feel comfortable touching you

Uhh... Let's see...

27. You constantly wonder why people feel the need to grab at you

Just why???

28. If people absolutely HAVE to hug you, they at least need to do it fast

One... two... okay we should be done now.

29. When someone you barely know greets you like this

A simple "hello" would've been just fine

30. You try to avoid comforting people with physical contact

31. But you've mastered comforting them using only your words

32. You feel more comfortable talking to someone knowing they won't be able to touch you

33. In large crowds, you feel like you're suffocating

"It feels like you're using up all the air in this area."

34. For the people who love violating your personal space

35. When people try to grab your hand

Should I just pretend not to notice?

36. When someone shoves a baby into your arms

"Uh... Hi..?"

37. When you just lose it

Me: *tells people to stop touching me for 30 consecutive minutes*

Them: *doesn't stop*

Me: *rages*

Them: "Well why didn't you just be nice about it?"

38. Ready to be touched now!

39. And finally... when you meet someone just like you

"OMG ME TOO!!! LET'S HAVE A SLEEPOVER TOGETHER IN SEPARATE BEDS!!!"