Things Emetophobes Want You To Know
***To those who don't know what emetophobia is, it's an extreme anxiety disorder that evolves from the fear of emesis (vomit, vomiting). If you or someone you know has this, we encourage you to seek help***
So here's the list of things emetophobes want you to know.
1. We can't just "get over it".
2. Saying "it's not gonna kill you" is not helpful. We are not afraid of dying.
3. Yes, we know that v*ing can save us by getting rid of toxins.
4. Yes, we know that v*ing is natural and is not life threatening in most cases. But again, we are not afraid of death.
5. Yes, we know that v*ing will usually make us feel a bit better afterwards.
6. When a child is having a panic attack, it is NOT a temper tantrum. Don't get angry. Your child needs comfort now more than ever.
7. No, you do not have emetophobia just because you think that v* is gross and that you hate it.
8. No, your fear of spiders cannot compare to emetophobia. This is coming from a person who also fears spiders. It's nowhere near as bad.
9. Understand that we are not trying to make your life harder. We are not trying to stress you out.
10. When we are anxious, NEVER:
Yell
Scream
Act annoyed
Brush us off
Purposely trigger us
Say that we have it good in life
Insult us
Say that it's nothing to worry about
Say that we are going to live (we are not afraid of dying)
11. When we are anxious, PLEASE:
Reassure us
Tell us it's all going to be okay
Comfort us
Love
Be there for us
12. We know that the phobia is worse for us than the v*ing itself.
13. We are trying to get rid of our phobia.
14. It's not easy living with this. It's hell. It's a nightmare. It's tragic.
15. We know that we sometimes overreact the vomit situation. No need to tell us!
16. No, we are not pretending to be ill. Understand that emetophobes feel nauseous an average of 140 times a year, whereas non-emetophobes feel nauseous an average of 5 times a year. We are not overreacting or pretending to be this way.
17. Yes, we know that our anxiety sometimes makes us feel nauseous. We panic about it anyway. But we are aware.
18. Withholding secrets about you or someone else feeling sick, does not protect our anxiety. It makes it worse because we are wondering what's going on.
19. Telling us to go to a toilet or trash can if we don't feel good, makes us more anxious.
20. Wash your hands well before cooking and eating, after using the bathroom, and after you come home from somewhere. Please? :)
21. Winter time is usually harder for us. Sorry. It's because of all the extra viruses going around.
22. We know that we usually panic over something very mild and not scary. No need to tell us.
23. V*ing isn't the only thing that we are afraid of. We are also afraid of gagging, feeling nauseous, having gastrointestinal issues, germs, dirtiness, viruses, crowds, traveling, etc.
24. We really want to go with you on that vacation, but we are terrified. We might decide not to go if the fear is too intense. Don't get mad.
25. This phobia is crippling. Don't think it's just a phase. Emetophobia causes depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, isolation, nightmares, PTSD, and more.
26. When we are nervous or feeling sick, we are not trying to be rude to you. But sometimes, we do sound rude but we can't help it. We still love you though.
27. We're staying away from you when you don't feel good because this phobia is incredibly intense. It does not mean we don't care about you. We love you very much.
28. It does not make someone a bad parent to have to be away from their kid when the kid is sick. We're sorry. We wish we can be there for them, but it's terrifying.
29. Emetophobes are shown to have higher anxiety levels than most other anxiety disorders, including OCD.
30. Don't try to expose us to triggers in an attempt to eliminate our anxiety. This actually makes it worse. We would need a trained therapist to do this properly for us.
31. We are not being lazy when we don't want to go to work/school when someone there is sick.
32. Don't punish us for feeling sick or being anxious.
33. Telling us to stop makes everything worse.
34. Some days are harder for us than others.
35. Anything can trigger us. Movies, books, words, sounds, smells, etc. We can't help it.
36. We don't choose to live this way.
37. Recovery is a long, difficult process.
38. We know that nobody likes to v*, including you.
39. Please be patient. Let us do things at our own pace.
40. Anti-anxiety meds sometimes help us, but they will not cure us.
41. There is no simple cure for emetophobia.
42. It breaks our hearts when people bully us because of this phobia.
43. It hurts us deeply when someone we love is feeling sick and we can't help them because we are terrified.
44. Emetophobia is under-researched, under-diagnosed, and under-treated. This makes it even harder for emetophobes.
45. Yes, we wish for our emetophobia to go away.
46. If we were able to get rid of it when we wanted to, we would do it.
47. Sometimes we do not like to be touched or be near people. Don't take that in offense.
48. It's not your fault that we're like this. Don't blame yourself.
49. It's not our fault either.
50. A simple medication, religion, diet, or routine will not fix us. It takes more than that.
51. Around the holidays, we usually are more anxious.
52. We know that avoiding eating will make us feel worse, but we can't help it. Sometimes eating is terrifying.
53. We can't read certain books, watch certain films, or go certain places.
54. You have no idea how horrendous this phobia until you experience it for yourself.
55. When we feel sick and start to panic about it, we know that will make us feel sicker. We know. Please don't mention it.
56. You can't cure our phobia by yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
57. But we can't cure it by ourselves either.
58. We do not hate you or hate children. Sometimes we just have to be alone from them because of our anxiety.
59. When we avoid you, it's not your fault. It's because you feel sick or we don't want to bother you.
60. Emetophobia isn't just a little fear. It's a debilitating anxiety disorder.
61. Please support us through our difficult journey. We can't get through this alone.
62. Sometimes we can't finish the food that we're eating, and sometimes we skip meals. This isn't your fault. It's just our anxiety or nausea.
63. We can't just "calm down". We really want to, but it's harder than it looks.
64. We're not trying to be high maintenance.
65. We are not doing this for attention. We are living in an endless nightmare.
66. Sometimes we need to slow down or speed things up. Please bare with us.
67. We are not "spoiled brats".
68. This isn't a "rich people problem" or "first world problem".
69. We aren't creating this for ourselves. We are tying to cure ourselves.
70. During recovery, expect some setbacks. It will be a bumpy road.
71. We are not bad people. We're just suffering beyond belief.
72. We aren't exaggerating our worries or situation. It is more awful than it sounds.
73. Don't criticize us for feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we do that, but not everyday.
74. We are so jealous of you for not being emetophobic.
75. Please don't go around telling everyone about our phobia. It's sometimes embarrassing.
76. Being in public is really hard.
77. We are trying not to complain, but sometimes we do. We have to get it out of our system.
78. We don't mean to annoy you.
79. Don't rush us to do things.
80. Don't pressure us to do things.
81. We love you. Please love us, too.
82. We have missed out on a lot of opportunities because of our anxiety. This deeply hurts us.
83. Going to the doctor and dentist is scary for us.
84. Certain foods may scare us.
85. We are not being selfish. We're just terrified.
86. Sometimes when we panic, we can't think straight. We might make regretful decisions.
87. We know that this is a long, needy list. Please understand that we are going through hell so we need a lot to make us feel safe. We can't help it.
88. We are not immature.
89. Don't put labels on us.
90. We aren't making this up.
91. We are all only human. We make mistakes.
92. We know that most of the time, nothing that we are scared of is going to happen. This isn't enough to calm us though.
93. Yes, this is a real phobia! Millions have it!
94. We know that others have it worse than us. But mentioning it makes it worse for EVERYONE and solves nothing.
95. Don't laugh at us or try to make jokes about this phobia. It's not funny at all.
96. Emetophobes have stronger senses than usual. We usually have stronger senses of smells, tastes, and a stronger gag reflex than most people. This makes it harder for us.
97. Not all of our panic attacks will have the same symptoms.
98. We know you're not trying to make it worse for us, but sometimes it still happens.
99. Don't be quick to judge. You haven't gone through what we've been through. Not even close.
100. This is ruining our lives. Don't add to our stress.
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