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1. Your entire life revolves around a never-ending saga of 'To-Do' lists - these often include tasks such as shower and take out the bins - it's important to have all bases covered.
2. You even need lists for your free time. Fun must always have structure.
3. Failing to understand how people can live without an accurate record of where they are meant to be/who they are meant to be seeing every day of the week.
4. Sweating fresh hell when you think you might have left your diary on the train.
5. Except that would never happen because one of the key benefits of being an anal psychopath means you never leave a public space without first checking 7 times that you have everything.
6. Just because I need to have all my plans written in my diary 3 weeks in advance, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy being spontaneous.
7. Even making lists for stuff you have already done just for the satisfaction of ticking it off.
8. Making lists on 2 separate Post-It notes and having to merge them out of fear you will lose one of them.
9. Even though you never have plans, not being able to commit to anything until you've checked your diary is clear.
10. Having heart palpitations every time you see someone who has 9,782 unread emails in their inbox. WHY DON'T YOU JUST DELETE THEM?
11. Nothing in life brings you more joy and satisfaction than a completed list.
12. Wishing you could produce PDF files of your diary at an interview as testimony to how damn organised you are - this shit should be on LinkedIn.
13. FYI if you think an iPhone diary is an appropriate substitute for a pen and paper you can go home now.
14. Being called 'mum' because you know what's happening next Tuesday and don't just wander from one day to the next trying not to forget who you are.
15. People telling you it's because you're a woman that your nurturing ovaries make you want to organise everyone.
16. When in actual fact you wish someone, ANYONE, else was organised enough to know what was happening beyond lunchtime.
17. Trying not to be smug when your boyfriend forgets your anniversary even though you told him to write it down approximately 32 times.
18. Being convinced the last 25 years of curating and refining your organisational skills must count for something? Medal anyone?
19. But in the end although you may seem composed and like you're nailing that adult life, on the inside you're still just winging it just like everyone else and hoping no one notices past all the lists.
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