Earlier today, Chandigarh-based newspaper the Tribune published a report in which it purchased a service over WhatsApp that provided unrestricted access to any of the billion Aadhaar numbers in India for just ₹500.
Since our biometric data, phone numbers, and addresses are so easily available to anyone and everyone, here's a few things that are more valuable than your right to privacy:
1.This ₹545 wallet in which you can take out ₹500 to pay the hacker.
2.Get these curtains for ₹699 so that you can live with the illusion that no one can look into your private life.
3.Get a magnifying glass for ₹1,299 so you can closely look for clues and figure where we screwed it all up.
4.Maybe this silky AF eye mask for ₹2,571 will help you stay oblivious to the world breaking down.
5.Buy six kilos of onions for ₹500 and cut them so no one can see you cry.
6.This ₹950 Darth Vader mug from which you can sip your chai as you watch the world and our freedoms crumble around us.
7.This ₹549 pair of pillows that you can rest uneasily on, knowing the government doesn't really care about your privacy.
8.The ₹549 pressure cooker that will remind you how fucked we really are.
9.Buy a hardcover copy of 1984 for ₹675 and weep because this is reality now.
10.Cuddle with this elephant you bought for ₹507 because you honestly will need it.
11.You can binge on 14 ₹35 Magic Masala packets to feel like you have things under control (but you really don't).
12.You can buy a whole bottle of Old Monk for ₹512 to drown the nation's misery in alcohol.
13.You can use this ₹634 notebook to write down your thoughts about how we're all doomed.
14.Buy two Wonder Woman T-shirts for ₹1,000 and pretend you can single-handedly save the world.
15.Get a pooja thali for ₹1,100 because only god can save you now.
16.And you can buy this ₹1,214 megaphone to scream, because it is a dreary time we live in and we're all being compromised.