Norman Rockwell Painting
All that seems like some sort of pastoral dream, like a Norman Rockwell painting of America as we always imagined it should be. Today parents seem to be way too wrapped up in their children’s athletic endeavors.
All that seems like some sort of pastoral dream, like a Norman Rockwell painting of America as we always imagined it should be. Today parents seem to be way too wrapped up in their children’s athletic endeavors.
Some are unabashed boosters/braggarts for their kids. You never want to be cornered by them lest they start to regale you with tales of Lindsay’s might line drive, or the diving catch Erin made in center field, or the 13 Ks Alice racked up in her last appearance in the circle. Still, they’re relatively harmless.
The ones who are of real concern are the ones who go the other way – fitting former Vice President Spiro Agnew’s description of “nattering nabobs of negativity.” Unlike the boosters, these parents only see their kids’ failures – and they make sure their kids hear about so they’re “inspired” to improve their performance the next time.
That’s a category that, as a parent, you definitely don’t want to fall into. Yet it seems to come naturally to some. Perhaps they don’t realize how they sound (or look, because they’re usually scowling). Perhaps they think they’re setting high standards for their kids.
Take the evaluation of a hitting performance. Let’s say the player had a couple of weak hits that got her on base, plus a legitimate hit or two. Rather than focusing on the failures and the mis-hits, you could say “you took some good swings, and at least you were making contact.
As has been said many times before, fastpitch softball is a game built on failure. Great hitters fail seven out of 10 times. A brain freeze here, an errant rock there and you can quickly become the goat for the day. And believe it or not, adults, kids know when they’ve screwed up.
Instead of harping on it or replaying it, the best thing you can do is put an arm around her shoulder and let her know that home run or strikeout, no hitter or pulled early, she’s still your daughter and you still love her. Spend as much time talking about what she did right as what she did wrong – maybe more – and you’ll be surprised how her performance actually improves.
Focus on the positives and support your player no matter what. Even if she never becomes the star you hoped she’d be when you signed her up, the two of you will have a much better relationship for it. She’ll be your daughter far longer than she’ll ever be a softball player.
If you're a player and you don't know, ask the question so you can understand it and either get the most out of it or ask someone more qualified if it makes sense. If you're a coach, be sure you understand it rather than simply copying something you saw at a clinic or someone else's practice on in a book or DVD.
Even if they get it right they won't know why, and thus whatever you're trying to accomplish is not going to be accomplished; the players will just fall back on what they usually do as soon as the drill is done.
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