30 Things You Won’t Need 30 Years From Now
Prepare to say goodbye to your clothing, hangovers, and heartbreak.
1. A Cure for Your Hangover
Healthier alcohol hybrids will eliminate hangover symptoms.
2. A Fresh Tan
Pale people everywhere will rejoice as natural becomes the new beauty standard.
3. This Nightmare…
Self-driving cars are expected to take over by 2040.
5. Post-Flight Therapy
The airplanes of the future will provide plenty of leg room.
6. An Unfounded Fear of Needles
With jet-injected drugs, you literally won’t feel a thing.
7. Discretion About Your Drug Use
The man behind legalizing weed is on a mission to legalize all drugs.
9. The Snooze Button
As we begin to better understand sleep, we’ll find ways to need less of it.
10. 25 Gallons of Water for Your Daily Shower
Showers will recycle and purify the same water, wasting 90% less.
11. A Dog Whisperer
A translator device will allow you to find out what your pet really thinks.
12. The Ability to Speak Spanish
Google is working on real-time translation tech for people too. ¡Fabuloso!
13. Patience
The internet of things will result in a world that responds to us instantly.
15. Weather-Appropriate Clothing
There is already a watch that can control body temperature.
16. A Clever Hair-Loss Solution
Baby foreskins, yes baby foreskins, are showing some promising results.
17. $1,000 a Month for This Brooklyn Apartment
Rent prices will drop as new construction catches up to demand.
19. Better Lighting
The cameras of tomorrow will take photos in complete darkness.
20. This Potential Strain on Your Relationship…
3D printer jams will be the new Ikea furniture fail.
21. A Pint of Ice Cream to Make the Pain Go Away
You’ll be able to erase exes from you memory. Sound familiar?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
25. The Cubicle You’re Currently Trapped In
Your couch is your future office. Working from home will become the norm.
26. Your Precious Pennies
27. Legible Handwriting
Cursive is already disappearing from schools. Handwriting is next to go.
28. This Constant Reminder…
Tattoo removal is in high demand and will only continue to improve.
29. This Piece of Paper
Colleges used to provide access to information. Today they provide free condoms.
30. Regret
Thirty years from now you’ll look back and laugh about it all.
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Contributions
- Donald Trump accused former Miss Universe Alicia Machado of being in a sex tape, calling her "disgusting." He's appeared in a softcore porn.
- The hair vitamins promoted by the Kardashians make "largely inaccurate" nutrient claims, according to lab tests.
- In a newly released video deposition, Trump implied he planned to call Mexicans "rapists" when he announced his presidential run.
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