11 Steps To Force Mitch McConnell Into Admitting He Ate The Last Cookie

Look, we all know who ate the last cookie. Mitch McConnell ate the last cookie. But who could stay mad at that adorable face?

1. You're not going to stonewall us on this cookie thing, Senator McConnell

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I'm sure you ARE busy. But we're going to talk about this.

2. No, there were NOT two cookies left in the Winnie the Pooh cookie jar

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That was clearly the last cookie, Mr. McConnell. And you know it was.

3. That's right. ONE cookie. Just one.

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Thank you for coming clean, Senator. That's progress at least.

4. It doesn't matter how big the cookie was, Sir. It was the last cookie

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Stop rationalizing and just admit that you KNOWINGLY ate the last cookie.

5. Don't talk to us about Crumble-Down Economics, Mitch. That's not a thing

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You didn't even buy the cookies. Kaylie bought the cookies.

6. Are you smiling right now? This is FUNNY TO YOU?!

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Do NOT even smile at me right now.

7. Oh, holy shit. STOP LAUGHING!!

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STOP LAUGHING, MITCH!!!!

8. . . .

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Yeah. And they weren't gluten free, either. So I guess I'll steer clear of the bathroom for the rest of the day.

9. "You didn't bake that."

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10. That's right. Now think about what you've done

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Thanks, Mr. President.

11. "I'm sorry I ate the cookie."

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You didn't need the calories anyway.