Let's Talk: Ice Cream And Ignorance

Everybody's favorite: Ice Cream. Relating ice cream to the trans community and trying my best to offend as few people as possible. Also a few of my own experiences attempting to explain the idea of TRANSGENDER.

I Hope This Helps!

Allow me to set the scene. I'm sitting in my car chatting with my mother, when Caitlyn Jenner comes up. She's confused, so I attempt to clarify the difference between being gay and being trans. The usual: no, gender is not the same as sexual orientation. No, genitals mean nothing when discussing sexual orientation or gender identity. I think I've covered the basics, so I move on in our conversation.

Two months later, BAM! my mother not so subtly mentions that until you've gone through sexual reassignment surgery, she isn't going to call you by your preferred pronouns. *Facepalm.*

So where did I go wrong? My mother has a PhD, how does this not make sense? The concept, to her conservative background, is new. The use of different pronouns when referring to celebrities is new. I understand; I'll give you time to get used to new things. I'm not completely unreasonable. But straight up refusing to allow someone to be themselves, at some point, becomes transphobic.

I'm not going to single her out and tell her this is all her fault and she is a horrible person. It's not her fault that she wasn't properly educated at school or maybe it's my fault for not having explained the basics completely. However, I'm also not going to give her a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card on this one. Part of this is ignorance.

Way back in the day, I hate to admit, I was ignorant too. So for all of you who are out there who don't quite understand the "spectrum," I'm here for you.

Imagine you just ate the most delicious (and cheap!) buffet dinner at Wegman's and are impatiently waiting for a mother to hastily prepare four soft-serve cones for her children. When she's finally walked away and you grab a cone off of the stack and begin to pour your ice cream, you discover that the four options of ice cream are Vanilla, Chocolate, Vanilla and Chocolate twist and Strawberry.

(Are you drooling yet?)

Now, imagine the Vanilla is female and the Chocolate is male. The Vanilla and Chocolate twist, in that case, would represent those who are gender fluid and other members of the genderqueer community. The Strawberry is neither Chocolate or Vanilla, therefore, let's say it represents those who are agender.

You grab your cone and fill it to the brim with chocolate. When you settle into a seat and take your first lick, you discover that this chocolate is in fact not chocolate, but it is vanilla that has been put in the wrong color. Will you just throw it out and try again? No way! This ice cream is special and deserves to be treated as any chocolate or vanilla ice cream should!

So, you take it to the toppings bar and dress it in things that would classically adorn Vanilla ice cream cones and treat it as such. This cone is Vanilla after all, correct? It's not just chocolate that thinks it's vanilla, it is vanilla.

So for all of you that were confused and now are raiding your freezer in search of ice cream at the moment, I hope my silly explanation helped you understand those who are finally out of the closet and living their true selves.

Also: for those of you who are trans and find this offensive, I am truly very sorry that this came across as rude. I'd like it to be clear that that was simply not my intention and I hope that this could be used to educate those in your life.