Which "Orange Is The New Black" Character Should Be Your Valentine?

Who would you throw your pie for?

    1. Their sense of humor
    2. Two piercing eyes
    3. Their passion!
    4. Dat ass
    5. Their wallet?
    6. They way they make you feel
    1. A romantic dinner
    2. Picnic in the park
    3. Movie and drinks
    1. A night at a comedy club
    2. House party
    3. You’re literally down for anything
    1. The Good Wife
    2. 30 Rock
    3. House Of Cards
    1. Sex & The City
    2. The L Word
    3. Breaking Bad
    1. When someone exoticizes you
    2. Flakiness
    3. When someone clearly isn’t willing to put in the effort
    4. Cheating
    5. If someone is overbearing
    6. If they don’t get your sense of humor
    1. Traveling the world
    2. Settled down with a few kids
    3. Probably in jail
    1. Enjoying the life of a gold-digger
    2. CEO of a company
    3. No clue
    1. “You’re so beautiful, you just made me forget my pick-up line.”
    2. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”
    3. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
    4. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice”
    5. “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.”
    6. “Are you a keyboard, because you’re my type.”
    1. Any Shakespeare
    2. “Les Miserables”
    3. “Gone Girl”
    1. Manga or Comics
    2. The Harry Potter series
    3. I don’t read that much
    1. Chewing loudly
    2. Slow walkers
    3. People who ask questions during movies
    4. People invading your personal space
    5. People using the term “literally” incorrectly
    6. People actually saying “YOLO”

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Sarah Karlan is the Deputy LGBT Editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Sarah Karlan at
Contact Heben Nigatu at
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