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16 Things Every Parent Should Never Show Their Kids

You know when you show your kid something for the first time and then regret it until the end of time. That.

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1. How to use the stairs.

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Which they now insist on using all the time, slowly.

2. How to push a trolley in the supermarket.

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Because now they refuse to sit in one.

3. Your iPhone.

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It's now *their* iPhone.

4. The word "ouch".

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Which they will scream in public, at will. Everyone will stare.

5. The word "no".

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Hope you like hearing it shouted!

7. How great straws are.

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Nobody can drink anything through a straw near them now, as they always want to have one.

9. Saying 'cheers'.

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Now they do it every time they drink.

10. How to "help" in the kitchen.

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Because it is the opposite of helpful.

11. How to make fart noises.

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Which they save for when you're out in public.

12. The remote control.

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Funnily enough, changing the channel constantly is not the same as watching television.

13. The fridge and its contents.

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Please don't take the cheese out again.

14. How fun it is to tear up paper.

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Until it's a letter from HMRC.

16. The toilet.

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Thank you so much for taking my phone for a swim.

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