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    11 Deeply Personal Stories And Shocking Career Details Will Smith Just Shared In His New Book, "Will"

    "My fantasy life is what protected me from the world."

    Content warning: This post contains mentions of suicide and abuse.

    This week, actor Will Smith released his much-anticipated autobiography, Will — and he did not hold back. From detailing the ups and downs of his childhood to breaking down his relationship with Jada, Will (with the help of Mark Manson) gives readers new insight into the person behind The Fresh Prince.

    The cover of the book features a drawing of his face
    Penguin Random House

    1. Will considered murdering his own father because he was abusive to his mother.

    Willard Smith Sr. with Will Smith
    Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images

    After witnessing his dad punch his mom as a child, Will said he wanted to avenge his mother one day. So years later, when Will was caring for his father (who had cancer), he was tempted to punish his father for the abuse. "I paused at the top of the stairs. I could shove him down, and easily get away with it," he writes. "As the decades of pain, anger, and resentment coursed then receded, I shook my head and proceeded to wheel Daddio to the bathroom."

    2. He contemplated suicide at age 13.

    After his mother left their home because of the abuse she faced, Will thought about taking his life. He was overcome with loneliness and guilt, but fortunately decided not to go through with it. "I thought about pills; I knew where a boy had lost his legs on the train tracks; I had seen people cut their wrists in a bathtub on TV. But what kept ringing in my mind was a faint memory of hearing Gigi (his grandmother) say that killing yourself was a sin."

    3. After his parents divorced, Will paid almost $140,000 in child support to his mom because his father couldn't afford to.

    Will Smith with his mom Carolyn Smith
    Jim Spellman / WireImage / Getty Images

    "Daddio didn't have $140,000, and Mom-Mom was unwilling to make any concession whatsoever. And there was no version of me letting my father go to jail," he says.

    4. He had a "raging jealousy" of Jada and Tupac Shakur's close friendship.

    Jada hugging Tupac from behind
    Mychal Watts / WireImage / Getty Images

    "He was 'PAC! I was me. I hated that I wasn't what he was in the world, and I suffered a raging jealousy," Will writes. "I wanted Jada to look at me like that."

    5. After splitting with Jada in 2011, he took ayahuasca more than a dozen times to discover himself.

    Will holding a coffee cup
    James Devaney / WireImage / Getty Images

    Will writes that his main discoveries were: "If I'm this beautiful, I don't need #1 movies to feel good about myself. If I'm this beautiful, I don't need hit records to feel worthy of love. If I'm this beautiful, I don't need Jada or anyone else to validate me."

    6. Jaden was almost named Luigi.

    Trey, Will, Jada, and Jaden at a red carpet event
    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    Will and Jada wanted to give Trey — Will's first son — the opportunity to name their new baby, but they didn't like his initial suggestion. "Jada and I look to each other in abject horror, both of us thinking the exact same thing: Have you ever met a (expletive) named Luigi?" Together, Jada, Will, and Trey ended up choosing Jaden Christopher Syre Smith.

    7. Jaden asked to be legally separated from his parents when After Earth failed at the box office. Ultimately, Jaden never went through with the emancipation.

    Will and Jaden at the After Earth premiere in New York
    Jim Spellman / WireImage / Getty Images

    “At 15 years old, when Jaden asked about being an emancipated minor, my heart shattered,” Will writes. "Jaden had faithfully done everything that I'd instructed him to do, and I had coached him into the worst public mauling he'd ever experienced."

    8. He hit rock bottom just before getting his role on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

    Will accepting his grammy in 1998
    Timothy A. Clary / AFP via Getty Images

    The government took Will's house and cars after he failed to pay his taxes early on in his career. He was also arrested soon after winning his Grammy because his bodyguard punched someone.

    9. He decided to end Fresh Prince after six seasons (instead of dragging it out to be longer) so he could move onto a career in movies with "dignity" and "grace."

    The Fresh Prince cast
    NBC / Courtesy Everett Collection

    "The storylines were becoming increasingly hokey and it was difficult to maintain the 'Freshness,'" he writes. "The show could easily sustain another season; this was my family; I loved them. But a movie career was now a viable option; I was at a crossroads. I promised [the cast] that we would go out with style and grace."

    10. Losing an argument to Michael Bay during the filming of Bad Boys made Will a "f-ing movie star."

    Will standing in an open button down shirt in a scene of Bad Boys
    Columbia / Courtesy Everett Collection

    Michael wanted Will to shoot a shirtless scene for Bad Boys, but Will refused because he was insecure about his new, muscular body. The two compromised on an unbuttoned shirt, which Will claims changed people's perception of him forever: "Up until this point in my life, I had used comedy to attract women. And now I was being objectified. It was wonderful."

    11. And finally, Will accidentally fell in love with Stockard Channing, his co-star in Six Degrees of Separation, as a result of his method acting. He writes that this had a negative impact on his new marriage with Sheree Zampino.

    Will and Stockard in a scene from Six Degrees of Separation
    MGM / Courtesy Everett Collection

    "[Sheree] married a guy named Will Smith and now she was living with a guy named Paul Poitier," he explains. "Our marriage was off to a rocky start. I found myself desperately yearning to see and speak to Stockard."

    Will's memoir is available for purchase now, wherever you buy your books!