Betrayal 101: From A Female Country Music Perspective

Hey girl, here's a list of 6 country songs to help you get through being cheated on.

Imagine you're driving home from work and at a red light you see your significant other kissing someone else. I'm sure a lot of emotions would be running through your head; anger, hurt and jealousy would top the list. Some jilted lovers go out for revenge. It could be anything from slashing tires to burning down their house. Cheating is certainly a familiar topic that has been heard in country songs for decades. The subject is emotional and controversial, but nonetheless, it is still a prevalent issue in our society. In the world of country music, artists address cheating in a variety of ways. In this article, I will be discussing how women in country music sing about either getting cheated on or the one doing the cheating. Each woman deals with infidelity in a unique way. There is the furious, revenge seeking type who threaten to physically damage things and of course there are the sad, sorrowful ones. Cheating songs can go from yelling at a guy for doing wrong to threatening to kill him. These next few songs will take you through the myriad of feelings and the various steps a person goes through when they discover their lover has been with someone else.

“Kerosene” – Miranda Lambert

You are furious right now after seeing your loved one committing adultery. To validate your rage, I’d suggest listening to “Kerosene” by Miranda Lambert. She is one female country artist that you don’t want to mess with, let alone cheat on. Many of her songs are powerful dealing with things like domestic abuse, cheating and even murder. “Kerosene” is a revengeful song about a woman being cheated on. The lyrics prove the lengths Lambert is willing to go to get back at her unfaithful lover, “Forget your high society, I’m soaking it in Kerosene / Light ‘em up and watch them burn, teach them what they need to learn HA!” This song, released in late 2005 was Lambert’s third single on her debut album, “Miranda Lambert.” It reached #15 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. “Kerosene” takes the repercussions of cheating to a whole new level. This fictitious track is relatable to people who have creative imaginations when it comes to what they would do if they could get back at someone who really mistreated them. The song demonstrates the extreme action and scale of responses along the spectrum of possible reactions.

“Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood

Via cosmopolitan.com

At this point, the initial shock is wearing off. Now try listening to Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats” to take things down a few notches. This song tells a story of a revenge-seeking woman who is “probably” being cheated on. “Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, And she’s probably getting frisky.” Notice that she uses the word probably often because she is just assuming that this is happening. Underwood completely destroys her lover’s very expensive customized truck in order to get back at him for nearly going home with a girl at a bar. The song became a huge success by topping the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart for 5 consecutive weeks. In a Cosmopolitan interview, Carrie stated that, "Cheating is a deal breaker. If you cheat, you're gone" (Molly Fahner, Cosmopolitan). So even if she wouldn’t actually ruin an unfaithful partner’s car, she still has no tolerance for that sort of behavior. The violent, forceful and passionate song falls in the middle of the response spectrum, but it doesn’t quite go as far as the previous song on the list.

“Should’ve Said No” – Taylor Swift

Next up is Taylor Swift. She has a few renowned songs about being cheated on, but “Should’ve Said No” is an anger driven record of Taylor scolding the boy who betrayed her. This song was written to make her former lover feel guilty for what he did. Even asking the question if the other girl was worth all of the damage he created, “I can’t resist / Before you go, tell me this / Was it worth is? / Was she worth this?” Swift wrote this song at the age of 16 and it was a last minute addition to her self-titled album in late 2006; the song was released as a single in 2008. The track became Swift’s second #1 single on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart. Taylor gave her young audience a relatable song, which probably has to do with its success in the charts. Given that Taylor Swift was only a teenager when she wrote “Should’ve Said No,” there aren’t any vicious or morbid topics in the song. Unlike the themes heard in some of her other fellow female country artist’s music, this song is pretty low on the spectrum of reactions.

“Jolene” – Dolly Parton

Via npr.org

"Jolene" by Dolly Parton is a song you can listen to before contemplating confronting your lover's mistress. This song tells a story from a wife's point of view. She believes her husband will be stolen away by Jolene, a beautiful young woman. In the song Parton begs Jolene not to take her man, singing, "Please don't take him just because you can." The song was released in 1973 and became one of Parton's first hit singles. Dolly got the idea for this song from two different experiences in her life. First she got the name Jolene when meeting a gorgeous young fan while signing autographs. Parton even told the girl that she was going to write a song about her name (Tome Vitale, NPR). Secondly, there was a bank teller that had a big crush on Parton's husband at the time. Dolly would worry that her husband was going to the bank too often to see the teller. Although this song does not have an actual betrayal in it, the theme of possibly being cheated on is still important to note. That is why this song is so different from the rest of the songs on the list; except perhaps "Before He Cheats" since in this tune Carrie Underwood is just assuming her boyfriend is cheating on her. "Jolene" goes on the lower end of the response spectrum, along side "Should've Said No."

“Stay” – Sugarland

Via cmt.com

Now that that you have calmed down a little from the “Kerosene” state of mind, and thought about confronting the other woman, lets try hearing the mistress’s perspective. “Stay” by Sugarland is a beautiful ballad about a woman begging the married man she has been sleeping with to stay instead of going home to his wife. “Why don’t you stay / I’m down on my knees / I’m so tired of being lonely / Don’t I give you what you need?” This song was released in 2007 peaking at #2 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart. It is also the first song in Sugarland’s career that was solely written by lead singer Jennifer Nettles. In an interview about Nettles, CMT reported that, “Although she has never lived the storyline of the song, she knew the subject of betrayal is something everyone could relate to, yet she wanted to tell the story from a different viewpoint” (Lindsey Roznovsky, CMT). Jennifer talks about how most cheating songs tell the point of view of the person being cheated on, not the person doing the cheating. Which leads us to the final song on the list that tells a true story from the mistress’s side.

“Borrowed” – LeAnn Rimes

Via tasteofcountry.com

“Borrowed” by LeAnn Rimes is a heartfelt ballad that tells the truth about Rimes’s past love affair. The song, released in 2013, is about how the man LeAnn loves can’t really be called her own, “I know you’re not mine, only borrowed / And I don’t want to give you back.” In an interview with Taste of Country, Rimes said, “I was afraid that if I wrote it, I would have to write it so honestly that I would offend, more so than I already did, everyone. I also know that there’s a lot of humanity in the truth that this is how I felt” (Megan Pacella, Taste of Country). Since the song tells an honest story, people can relate to it better and may even respect Rimes more for sharing her side of the story.

Now that you've seen both sides to the story, it is up to you to decide where you fall on the spectrum of reactions. As we've seen, these songs discuss the issue of infidelity in a multitude of ways; each track telling its own personal story. Even if the artist didn't actually experience what they sing about, we still feed off the energy of the song. So you can choose to seek vengeance while playing "Kerosene" and "Before He Cheats" on repeat. Or, now that you've heard a song like "Stay," you might even take pity on the other woman. Regardless, I hope you find these songs helpful with dealing with the betrayal and heartbreak you've been put through.