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24 Things You Shouldn't Say To A Welsh Girl

Goes without saying we're crackin' company, but this chat will set the ladies of Cymru on edge.

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1. “Rugby is for blokes though.”

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To be honest, you shouldn’t say this to any woman, but try it with a Welsh bird and you’ll have a pint poured down you quicker than you can say, “I’m not being funny but...”

2. “I don’t really see the appeal of Leigh Halfpenny.”

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Get out.

3. “I think I’m just going to wear a nice top and jeans tonight.”

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Why look boring when you could look LUSH? Time to start picking out your dress and heels, missy.

4. “Yacky dar!”

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Seriously, no one actually says that here.

5. “How do you say [insert any random word] in Welsh?”

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Oh gaaad this is like GCSEs all over again. And we barely knew anything then.

6. “I’ll skip the biscuits, thanks.”

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Just have a biscuit.

8. “Watch the video I just sent you – so cuuuute!”

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Excuse me, you’ve sent me a 10MB video to download on my phone? Where do you think I am, Silicon Valley?

9. “Have you got any change for the bridge?”

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£6.50 is not loose change, it’s a whole bottle of Prosecco down our local.

10. “I can’t stand fake tan.”

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How do you suggest we get a real one then?

11. “What does the Welsh national anthem actually mean?”

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Umm...

12. “Did you used to have one of those hairbands with your name on when you were little?”

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Ridiculously, Claire’s Accessories didn’t do an Angharad one.

14. “You had a filling in your what?”

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TOOTH, goddamnit. What do you mean it’s not pronounced like that?

15. “Curry sauce! On chips! That’s disgusting.”

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It’s actually a culinary combination so dreamy it makes anything Heston Blumenthal’s ever done look like dog food, but whatever.

16. “So, where would you actually want to live?”

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You can’t beat a country that has Welsh cakes, dragons, AND Barrybados. Why would we want to move anywhere else?

17. “You’re Welsh? Oh, my father-in-law’s vicar’s dog groomer is Welsh – do you know her?”

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A population of over 3 million and still everyone thinks we live in one big village.

18. “Is your office like The Call Centre?”

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If only! Having a tea lady doing the rounds = the dream.

19. “Sorry we only have Earl Grey.”

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Probably time to pop to the Spar then isn’t it, love?

20. “I’ve only been to Wales once, but I can speak Welsh.”

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If you’re about to say “Araf”, “Popty ping” or “Rydw i’n hoffi coffi” then keep this thought to yourself, we beg you. Especially if you're chatting us up.

21. “Do you have Zara/Topshop/any shops at all in Wales?”

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It’s not the Outer Hebrides, you know. How do you think we look so fly?

22. “What’s it like living in the Valleys?”

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The vast majority of us genuinely wouldn’t know, although we’d hedge a bet it’s probably not quite like the TV show.

23. “Can you sing? All Welsh people can sing.”

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Not a bloody note, but give us some Beyoncé and five gins on a Friday and we’ll certainly give it a go.

24. “I hate Greggs.”

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We hate you.

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