1. Stand down:
me, sweating profusely, pointing a gun at the sun: i wont hesitate bitch
2. Winner winner:
I am sweatier that Bob Sweaty McSweatson, winner of sweatiest person to have ever lived, whilst in a sauna, dousing himself in sweat.
3. Thoughts are dangerous:
this weather got me fucked up i started sweating just thinking about going outside
4. Never clean:
Am I allowed to take a second shower if Im sweating this much right after the first shower?
5. Challenge accepted:
Point to any area of my body and I'll bet I can sweat from there.
6. Which one's which:
exercise tip: nobody can tell sweat from tears as they both stream down your face. remember to breathe, if you really still want to.
7. Face the camera:
*showers too soon after the big game and keeps sweating through entire press conference*
8. Magic lamp:
If a genie granted me 3 wishes, all 3 of them would be to not look so sweaty in pictures.
9. Pool party:
Took a nap and woke up in a pool of sweat. Which is the least popular of all pools to wake up in.
10. Excuse me:
How every #tsa check goes for me Them: "u have a blob on your back. We have to pat u down" They pat me down Just sweat #sweatypeopleproblems
11. The right breakdown:
Success is 90% perspiration, 10% apologizing for leaving a sweat stain.
12. But really how:
Hey people who aren’t sweating: how are you doing that? Also: fuck you.
13. Mistaken:
Woman: [pointing to the sweat pouring off my stupid face] someone loves the gym! Me: i literally just walked in here
14. It's just emotions:
of all the emotions, sweating through make-up is my least favorite
15. After school activities:
My hobbies? I don’t know... is sweating a hobby?
16. Search engine:
I actually Googled "how to stop sweating" today.
17. #1 bestseller:
sweating whilst sitting: an autobiography
18. Spellcheck:
I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that the girl who just passed me a note meant to call me "sweetie" and not "sweaty."
19. Questions:
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, "um why is she sweating so much"
20. Don't touch that:
God forbid you marry a man that starts sweating like Judas all because you touched his phone
21. Florida:
anybody know how to walk out of an establishment in fl and make it to your car before you start sweating
22. I know:
"I know it's 54 degrees out, that's why I'm wearing shorts." Actual words I just uttered. #SweatyPeopleProblems