1. What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Make coffee. Or if my wife has already made coffee, drink coffee.
2. When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
Ginger beer — I quit drinking a few years back, but I still like my mouth to hurt.
3. What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
"Cogent."
4. What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
Some basic Spanish phrases — I’m doing a talk show called Noches con Platanito, and while they will provide a translator, I’d like to refresh some basics.
5. Who is the last person that called or texted you?
My wife, Jamie Denbo. Real sexy, too — her schedule for Monday.
6. What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
Right now — handsome picture of my son at Fatburger.
7. What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
I dissed an actor who turned out to be a friend of a person I was talking to. There's no way out that situation, you just have to stew in it.
8. What is your TV guilty pleasure?
I don't really have guilty pleasures — I like what I like. BUT I've seen a lot — A LOT —of Taxicab Confessions.
9. What's the first CD you bought?
Paul Simon — Rhythm of the Saints.
10. And what music are you currently listening to?
Well, there’s a new Descendents record out, which is always cause for celebration. I grew up listening to these guys, and their singer Milo Aukerman has gone from puerile songs about girls to singing about his excellent credit score. It’s pretty terrific (both the record and having a good credit score).
11. What is the one food you cannot resist?
Any combination of pretzels and peanut butter.
12. What movie makes you laugh the most?
Ooh, this is tough. Anchorman is really good. My wife has a small part in Spy, and that movie killed me repeatedly. Have to give it up for Shaun of the Dead.
13. What toppings do you like on your pizza?
Sausage.
14. What drives you absolutely crazy?
How much I love sausage.
15. What was your first online screen name?
That is a brutal question. Particularly for me. (deep breath) It was Hate666 and the worst part is that I got it at a temp job at the children's book publishing company Scholastic.
16. What's the last thing you copied & pasted on your phone?
These very questions.
17. What's your favorite curse word?
Hard to top "fuck" for its versatility.
18. What's your favorite emoji?
The happy face with the hearts for eyes.
19. Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
Puppies.
20. New York or Los Angeles?
I’ve lived in both and with full authority – New York in the fall, LA rest of the year.
21. Twitter or Instagram?
Twitter, but Instagram is awfully pretty.
22. Bacon or Nutella?
Bacon.
23. Britney or Christina?
Song for song, Britney, but Christina’s got the better chops.
24. Coffee or tea?
Coffee. I am drinking coffee right now. I love coffee.
25. NSYNC or BSB?
NKOTB.
26. 2 a.m. or 2 p.m.?
Last time I was up at 2 a.m., we were shooting the pilot. I was a wreck the next day. 2 p.m., thanks.
Um, Beyoncé wrote the lyric “When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster.” So there’s really no contest.
28. Netflix and chill or just Netflix?
Hulu and panic.
29. Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
I’m 45.
30. And finally: tell us a secret.
I labored over which band to plug in the new music part of this interview. I wanted to seem cool, but not like I’m trying too hard. Finally, it just seemed right to plug the new Descendents.