1. Someone throws a birthday party. They think that no drama is going to go down.
2. A fight happens at that party. We knew this was going to happen.
3. Scheana fights for some kind of voice/more airtime.
4. Tom Sandoval wears something extremely questionable.
5. Stassi pretends like she doesn't want to see Jax.
6. Jax tries to lie about something. He sucks at it.
7. Stassi says something really fucked up that makes us question her sanity...
... Or at least her soul.
8. Kristen gets a crazy look in her eyes and you realize that there's nothing you can do to save her from herself.
9. One of Jax's "girlfriends" calls him a coward.
10. Scheana obsessively talks about her engagement/wedding/marriage.
11. Katie searches for as much tequila as possible to be able to tolerate the others.
12. Lisa politely delivers someone's ass on a plate.
13. The boys work out without a shirt on.
14. Someone gets slapped/punched/a drink thrown at them.
15. Stassi reminds everyone of how pretty she is.
16. Jax does something stupid for a girl.
17. Ariana will say something that is both horrifying and amazing at the same time.
18. Shay makes an appearance and we'll wonder why Scheana doesn't quit the show and live a quiet life with him.
19. Someone will mention sex.
Sex is good. Unless you're Kristen and have sex with your BFF's ex-boyfriend.
20. Someone is flabbergasted as to how Jax bested them.
... Whether she uses words or not.
22. Jax makes one of these faces.
23. Kristen cries.
24. Lisa says something that you would think would be pretty obvious.
25. Tom Schwartz starts a fight but looks really cute doing it.
26. Scheana gets injured.
27. Tom and Kristen get into a fight.
28. Peter wonders, "Am I the only one actually working here?"
29. Lisa wonders why she agreed to let this show happen.
