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    29 Things That Happen On Every Episode Of "Vanderpump Rules"

    Someone's gonna get slapped.

    1. Someone throws a birthday party. They think that no drama is going to go down.

    Bravo / Via tmblr.co

    2. A fight happens at that party. We knew this was going to happen.

    Bravo / Via tmblr.co

    This fight will fuel the rest of the season.

    3. Scheana fights for some kind of voice/more airtime.

    4. Tom Sandoval wears something extremely questionable.

    Bravo / Via bricesander.tumblr.com

    Really? A vest? A PATTERNED VEST?

    5. Stassi pretends like she doesn't want to see Jax.

    6. Jax tries to lie about something. He sucks at it.

    Bravo / Via zap2it.com

    7. Stassi says something really fucked up that makes us question her sanity...

    ... Or at least her soul.

    8. Kristen gets a crazy look in her eyes and you realize that there's nothing you can do to save her from herself.

    9. One of Jax's "girlfriends" calls him a coward.

    10. Scheana obsessively talks about her engagement/wedding/marriage.

    11. Katie searches for as much tequila as possible to be able to tolerate the others.

    12. Lisa politely delivers someone's ass on a plate.

    13. The boys work out without a shirt on.

    Bravo / Via vanderpumprules.tumblr.com

    We get it: YOU HAVE ABS.

    14. Someone gets slapped/punched/a drink thrown at them.

    Bravo / Via tmblr.co

    15. Stassi reminds everyone of how pretty she is.

    Seriously.

    Bravo

    (Images via)

    16. Jax does something stupid for a girl.

    Bravo / Via youtube.com

    See: Getting a tattoo of a girl's name. TWICE.

    17. Ariana will say something that is both horrifying and amazing at the same time.

    Bravo / Via tmblr.co

    18. Shay makes an appearance and we'll wonder why Scheana doesn't quit the show and live a quiet life with him.

    19. Someone will mention sex.

    Bravo

    Sex is good. Unless you're Kristen and have sex with your BFF's ex-boyfriend.

    20. Someone is flabbergasted as to how Jax bested them.

    21. Katie emerges as our voice of reason...

    Bravo

    (Images via)

    ... Whether she uses words or not.

    22. Jax makes one of these faces.

    Bravo / Via tumblr.com

    23. Kristen cries.

    Bravo / Via youtube.com

    24. Lisa says something that you would think would be pretty obvious.

    25. Tom Schwartz starts a fight but looks really cute doing it.

    26. Scheana gets injured.

    Bravo / Via youtube.com

    She's running out of body parts. Bonus: Shay looks confused.

    27. Tom and Kristen get into a fight.

    Bravo / Via youtube.com

    MOVE ON.

    28. Peter wonders, "Am I the only one actually working here?"

    Bravo / Via vanderpumprules.tumblr.com

    Yes, Peter.

    29. Lisa wonders why she agreed to let this show happen.

    Bravo / Via bricesander.tumblr.com

    "Good publicity for SUR," she whispers repeatedly as she cries herself to sleep.

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