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It's Time To Be Honest And Realize That Iced Coffee Is Disgusting

Oh, you want some watered-down cold "coffee" that basically tastes like milk? Go ahead.

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Let's just rip the Band-Aid right off: Iced coffee is fucking gross.

It just shouldn't be a thing.
Flickr: revrev / Creative Commons

It just shouldn't be a thing.

WHY would you ever take something as beautiful as this...

Via aquarianmermaid.tumblr.com

Warm. Bold. Strong.

... and turn it into this horrifying mess of a drink?

Watery. Freezing. Gross.
Flickr: ikester777 / Creative Commons

Watery. Freezing. Gross.

WHY would you take a steaming hot cup of coffee, full of warmth and desire, of taste and love...

This is what hope tastes like.
Flickr: chichacha / Creative Commons

This is what hope tastes like.

... and put it over ICE?

Why? Why? Whyyyyyy?!?!?!
Flickr: mrsdkrebs / Creative Commons

Why? Why? Whyyyyyy?!?!?!

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Bravo / Via tmblr.co

Say the words, "I'd like an ICED coffee, please." It's simply UNNATURAL.

BET / Via tmblr.co

It's like saying, "Meryl Streep isn't the greatest actress alive today." It's a LIE.

What about cold brew? What the fuck about cold brew?

It should be hot. Coffee should be hot. There's no other good way to drink coffee unless that way is HOT.
Flickr: tangysd / Creative Commons

It should be hot. Coffee should be hot. There's no other good way to drink coffee unless that way is HOT.

Oh, what's that? You want something cold to drink? It's called WATER.

Bravo / Via tmblr.co

Why do you have to screw up a perfect drink? Just have a glass of water and leave our perfect hot coffee ALONE.

"But it's so hot outside," they say. "You have to drink iced coffee when it's hot."

TLC / Via elitedaily.com

Or, I could be drawn and quartered while shouting, "Freedom!" because that sounds more appealing than the watered-down cold cup of milky liquid that you call iced coffee.

Too often, hot coffee drinkers are made to feel inferior. As if hot coffee doesn't make sense.

Disney / Via gif-database.tumblr.com

But it does. It ALWAYS makes sense.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Bravo / Via tmblr.co

It is sick yuk belive me OK?

joseph g knows what's up.
Via answers.yahoo.com

joseph g knows what's up.

Look at how fucking precious this is. LOOK.

instagram.com

Can iced coffee do that? Fuck no.

And what does Holly Golightly drink?

Paramount / Via something-hm.tumblr.com

HOT COFFEE. BECAUSE HOT COFFEE IS DELICIOUS AND CLASSY.

Everything about this. YAS.

instagram.com

Hot. Hot. Hot.

In conclusion, say no to this pathetic attempt at coffee.

Flickr: marcoarment / Creative Commons

But coffee — no adjective needed — YAAAS!!!!!

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