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Can You Pick Which Avenger Would Make The Best Hubby?

Which one would be your superHUSBAND? Get it? GET IT?!

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Keep in mind: These are the film iterations of the superheroes — not the comic book versions!

  1. Bruce Banner/The Hulk
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    Bruce Banner/The Hulk
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    Clint Barton/Hawkeye
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    Clint Barton/Hawkeye
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    James Rhodes/War Machine
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    James Rhodes/War Machine
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    Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver
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    Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver
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    Sam Wilson/Falcon
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    Sam Wilson/Falcon
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    Steve Rogers/Captain America
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    Steve Rogers/Captain America
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    Thor
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    Thor
    Via Disney
    Tony Stark/Iron Man
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    Tony Stark/Iron Man
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    Vision
    Via Disney
    Vision
    Via Disney

Can You Pick Which Avenger Would Make The Best Hubby?

You got: Hulk is a no

Though Bruce has a very, very sweet side, he can also turn into an uncontrollable raging giant at a moment’s notice. AND when he’s finally calmed down, he winds up in the middle of nowhere naked and you have to bring him clothes. Constantly standing around waiting to supply pants to a green monster is pretty much the worst marriage ever.

Hulk is a no
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You got: Definitely not Hawkeye

Who? Oh, he shoots arrows and stuff, right?

Definitely not Hawkeye
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You got: Nope, not War Machine

What Falcon is to Cap, War Machine is to Iron Man. He’s already in a relationship, dude, and that’s with Tony Stark.

Nope, not War Machine
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You got: Dude, not Quicksilver

Watch Age of Ultron and you’ll see that your marriage will be very, very short.

Dude, not Quicksilver
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You got: Sorry, not Falcon

Sam is awesome, but he’s still totally loyal to Cap. You’ll be having a much-needed date night when all of a sudden Steve Rogers comes a-callin’. After a while, you’ll get super annoyed with constantly being priority #2 in Falcon’s life.

Sorry, not Falcon
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You got: Not Captain America

Ah, Steve. He’s so nice! And muscly! And he’s all into saving the universe! But he’s also the most boring person ever. In addition, he’s totally ~that~ guy who constantly makes you feel bad for being anything less than a perfect human being.

Not Captain America
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You got: Nope, not Thor

Thor is quite delicious to look at, but I have a feeling you’re not going to like Asgard. Everyone is hardcore into wars and fending off alien invaders — no bueno. Plus, there’s not much for you to bond with Thor about. He’s a prince who will never be as funny or interesting as his brother Loki (or as evil, but that’s a good thing).

Nope, not Thor
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You got: You're right — it's Tony

Sure he can get a little annoying with his constant need for attention, but you have to admit, his genius-level IQ is pretty awe-inspiring. Here you have the rare example of a man who is good-looking, smart, fucking hilarious, AND actually wants to help humankind. The whole money thing is honestly just a bonus. Start planning your wedding, stat.

You're right — it's Tony
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You got: No to Vision

I mean, sure he’s nice and everything, but he’s pretty much a sentient robot. Tons of people are already shitty in bed — are you going to take a chance with an android?

No to Vision
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