Jackie Dives, a 39-year-old photographer and artist, has always known that she doesn't want to have children.
However, as with many women who choose to be child-free, Jackie has constantly been told she'll change her mind about her choice, and it ultimately led to the end of a long-term relationship. "My particular experience with being child-free happens to include the fact that I lost my partner of five years because we ultimately wanted different things when it came to having kids. My whole life, people have dismissed my conviction around being child-free and have told me I would change my mind. Having to defend myself for years, in conjunction with losing my partner because of my choice, meant that I experienced a deep, deep feeling of grief and alienation around being child-free."
In response to this grief, Jackie created a photo series about her experience and began sharing child-free content on TikTok. One of the most popular has been her "Day in the Life" series, in which she shares a day in her life as a child-free woman. The videos usually show Jackie doing everyday things like cooking, making art, meditating, and meeting up with friends.
While the response to her content has been generally positive, Jackie still encounters people on the internet questioning why she feels the need to mention that she's child-free. To clear things up, Jackie shared this TikTok — which currently has over 2 million views — sharing that she makes content because she wants other women to be able to "see what a life without children can look like."
In the video, Jackie explains that after her partner decided to leave their relationship because he wanted kids, "it was really hard for me to visualize what my life would look like. I could see my life if he and I had stayed together. I would be with him and we would have a house, and a baby, and a family, and great in-laws, and a white picket fence, the whole thing."
She continues, "But because we are never shown examples in media or pop culture about what it looks like to be a woman who doesn't have children, I had no idea what my life would look like if I didn't go down the path that everyone expected me to go down. It felt really lonely and strange, and I had to go seek out other women who had also made that choice."
"I want women who don't want to have kids to have an example of what your life can look like," she says.
Thousands of people commented on Jackie's video, many thanking her for helping them feel seen and also sharing their own experiences fielding unnecessary pushback for their decisions to not have children.
And even Julia Fox herself (!!!) commented thanking Jackie.
"I was surprised by how many people have commented that they experienced the same thing," Jackie told BuzzFeed. "I think the root cause of this is that everyone tells women they will change their mind. You might have a strong conviction that you don't want kids, but if everyone in your life is telling you that you will change your mind or that you will regret not having them. It can be very difficult to walk away from someone you love to stay true to your convictions."
Jackie's content speaks to a larger movement that's been happening in recent years. More and more women are rejecting the stigma associated with being child-free, and that's translated to a lot more open and honest content around the topic online. From TikTok to Reddit to Twitter, a quick search of "child free" leads to thousands, if not millions, of posts embracing the idea of a life without parenthood.
Just another day.
"People need to stop asking women when they will have kids," Jackie said. "Women need to be encouraged to do whatever the hell they want with their lives. Like any stigma, the more we normalize it, the better it will get. People need to stop gaslighting women about what they want from their own lives."
