Winning the lottery is usually just a daydream, but for some people, it really does happen! And winning the jackpot usually comes with the question of how to spend and divvy up your earnings. This is where things can get *dicey*.
Such is the case for Reddit user u/throwawaylucx (or OP; for Original Poster) who recently asked in the Am I the A-hole subreddit if she's wrong for refusing to give a portion of her massive lottery winnings to her husband's best friend.
Let's get into it, shall we? Here are the full details, according to OP:
"I played the lottery for the first time last year when everyone was talking about the Powerball jackpot. Since then, I’ve played casually, only spending a few dollars a week. I occasionally won a few bucks and never really expected to win anything big, but it was nice to dream as I had a ton of debt and have been struggling a lot."
"Fast-forward to a few months ago (won’t say the month for privacy). I checked the winning numbers one night against my ticket, and it matched with my numbers perfectly. Initially, I didn’t believe it and thought there had to be a mistake, so I told my husband, and we checked it, like, a dozen times, and I was right, we won. It’s life-changing, multigenerational, f*ck you money."
"We instantly agreed to keep the news to ourselves and wait a few months before we did anything. The past few months have been an incredible high, filled with disbelief, and though it’s been difficult, we have managed not to make any large purchases or change our lifestyle. We fantasized about what to do with our money, but the time to claim is drawing near, so we have begun having more practical discussions about how to claim it and what to do with it."
"While discussing, my husband 'Adam' brought up that he thinks it’ll be a good idea to split the money with his best friend/business partner, 'Tim.' Tim and Adam have been friends since they were in middle school and have done everything together ever since. Together they’ve started businesses, worked together, invested money, moved to the same town, and have often dreamed about our families making it big together. Since we have taken risks together and are so close, Adam feels it’s fair to give Tim 1/3 of the cash prize so that 1). we are not going on this journey to a new life alone, and 2). it’s suspicious to make all this money suddenly and more easily explained if Tim 'makes' money as well since we do everything together."
OP is not on board with this for a number of reasons: "I, however, feel it’s risky to share that we have come into this money with them, because Tim’s family tends to be more flashy and likes showing off, and I don’t fully trust that they will keep it quiet or modest enough to not raise suspicion. This is important because I’ve seen community members harass and attack people with far less money just because they feel entitled. This could jeopardize our safety, so I want to avoid it if at all possible. Also, I’m not really comfortable with his plan to add Tim and his wife as members of our LLC to claim the prize (because I think it could make them feel entitled to a bigger chunk or take the money?)."
"Adam thinks I’m being selfish, and he won't enjoy our newfound wealth if his friend isn’t living the same lifestyle, but I think we could find a way to later give them some money, after figuring out a way to explain how we came into money without telling them we won the lottery (no idea how to do that yet)."
"Anyway, [am I the A-hole] for not wanting to tell them we won the lottery and split the money? Am I selfish?"
In the comments, pretty much everyone agreed that OP should NOT split the winnings with Tim, for a multitude of reasons. Some had suspicions that Adam already told Tim about their winnings and promised him a piece of the pie.
"They probably already talked it out, and Tim convinced your husband that it would only be fair for him to get a piece, too. It definitely sounds like your husband has been worked over."
"Oh, he’s already told the friend guaranteed, and they hatched this plan together."
Another thought Tim was simply a cover for Adam to take most of the winnings for himself.
"It almost feels like a way for husband to get his hands on most of the money. Hiding it in the open by giving to 'best friend.'"
The main consensus was that OP should keep news of her lottery win to herself as much as possible, because more and more people will come out of the woodwork once word gets out that she's come into a huge sum of money.
"I came into a large inheritance about 20 years ago. Was asked to 'invest' in a friend's business, and it ended up eating five years of my life and a great deal of said inheritance. The people I shared this with and tried to help felt extremely entitled to the money as well as my time, even though it was gained in a much more difficult manner than yours.
Generally speaking, if you are a good person, you do want to help other people achieve goals that they ordinarily wouldn't be able to. But, I'm telling you: Don't. Not everyone thinks like you. Not everyone is a good person, and you have no idea until you've lost more than you can afford, whether you are just feeding into someone else's greed."
"You know every person who has every crossed your path will show up or start messaging, etc. The fact your husband thinks you should give his friend 1/3 of your money is insane to me. If you want to give him a little something, that'd be okay, but I don't understand why your husband couldn't enjoy the money if his friend didn't have part of it? Is he planning on living a high roller life and wants his friend to be able to join in?"
And, most of all, that OP should lawyer up and protect herself, even from her husband.
"Get a lawyer, financial planner, and establish how much you want to go toward charities, future expenses, etc.
Maybe the compromise is treating Tim and his partner to a fun vacation. Then, if it comes up, you can say you won the trip for four or tell the truth. But I think given you want to keep it private, it’s ok if you want to do that and white lie. No one needs to be privy to your financial information."
"If you want to buy Tim a new Accord, go nuts. But giving him 1/3 of your winnings is insane. TALK TO A LAWYER ASAP. If you're not already talking to one, you're doing it wrong. Also, get the money somewhere that your husband CANNOT decide to move it without your permission and knowledge."