If you're not already familiar with the Am I the A-hole subreddit, it's a place where people can ask the peanut gallery (aka the internet) if they are in fact the ones being an A-hole in certain situations. Sometimes, it can get verrrry messy.
Today's edition has to do with eating habits. Particularly, "picky" eating habits. Reddit user u/ATotalMunch (or OP; for Original Poster) wants to know if he's wrong for refusing to take his girlfriend out to dinner at nice restaurants because she "eats like a kid."
Here are the full details, according to OP:
"My girlfriend is an incredibly picky eater. Like I said in my title, she eats like she is 10 years old. In fact, I'll give a short list of things she refuses to eat: unflavored water, fish (excluding fried shrimp), anything with bones, cheese other than sharp cheddar, spinach, onions, garlic, pasta without red sauce, eggs, spicy food, aioli, ketchup, potatoes (other than French fries), pastries with fruit, citrus, sausage, or any 'non-American' food. This compares to me, someone who grew up in multiple different regions of the US and lived in abroad for a few years, so I'm a bit more adventurous when it comes to food."
"Whenever me and my girlfriend go out somewhere nice, she ends up getting the same meals, usually either a burger or chicken tenders and fries. We could be going to an authentic Nepalese restaurant, and she will get the French fries and white rice. To me, it's kind of embarrassing to go to a restaurant where there is a dress code and for her to order chicken tenders and fries. It especially bothers me that since I typically pay, I end up paying 15 bucks for chicken tenders that I could get from the freezer section at Walmart for five bucks."
This brings us to the situation at hand: "Recently, in our area, a very nice dinner place opened up, and my girlfriend has been dying to go. I took a look at the place and the menu, and saw that it looked nice, but the food was kind of pricy. She said she was probably gonna get chicken tenders, as per usual. I asked her what's the point of going, then, if I can toss some tenders in the air fryer for her and not spend a ridiculous amount of money on it?"
"She asked why I had an attitude about this, and I told her that I thought it was a waste of time and money to go to a nice place to get little kid food. She interpreted this as me calling her a little kid. I clarified that I wasn't calling her a child; however, it is kinda childish for her to eat the way she does. I also said that if she's gonna order food we can make at home, theres not any point in us going anywhere. This led to an argument about me thinking I'm better than her."
Since picky eating is often a pretty ~divisive~ topic, there was A LOT of chatter in the comments. Some people agreed with OP's point and shared their own thoughts on picky eaters in general:
"Probably not the popular opinion, but I think [Not the A-hole]. I don’t see the point in taking her to an expensive restaurant with a very specific type of cuisine and her getting fries or chicken fingers. Why is she dying to go there anyway??"
"I hate people like this. Grown adults who eat like a kid. Sure, a burger or chicken tenders is fine, but most meals? Develop a palate. I would never date someone like that."
Others took issue with the fact the OP's girlfriend expected him to pay for most of their dinners:
"I agree with [Not The A-Hole] on this if she is expecting you to cover the bill. Like, yeah, atmosphere is a nice added part to the experience of a new restaurant. But the real appeal of trying a new place would be to try new foods. The chicken tenders can't be that different. I don't get it, why bother when trying new things is the fun part? I'd give her the ultimatum for her to try a new meal if she really wants to go there, and if not, she can cover herself."
"I’m a supporter of let people eat whatever they want; however, I’m not paying for it. She may just like getting dressed up and going somewhere new. Let her get dressed up and go to a new place, but let her pay for her own food. Paying anything above $10 for chicken tenders, fries, and a drink is not something I’d do. But if she wants to, he can get his fun adventurous meal, and she can pay for her own chicken tenders."
However, some felt that this issue extends beyond food, and is a matter of incompatibility:
"TBH, I don't think you are compatible. Your background has led you to be more inclusive as far as what you eat, and I expect that extends to other aspects of your life. Your girlfriend doesn't want to grow past her comfort zone. I don't see how this can work out in the long run."
"I called off a full engagement with one of the reasons being food incompatibility (a grown man who was a vegetarian 5-year-old eater); I just couldn’t see me being happy having to cook two meals if I didn’t want to eat frozen pizza or been and cheese burritos for the rest of my life."
And someone actually called OP out for how he handled the situation, and came to his girlfriend's defense:
"Look, I’m mostly on your side, until the last two paragraphs. The point of going out isn’t always to eat the food or try new food, but to spend time together. Throwing around that it’s not even worth going out if you only eat chicken tenders is really callous.
She also sounds picky, but flexible. In that she’ll find something at any restaurant to eat, even if it’s fries and rice. So, I think it’s a bit crappy you’re knocking her for that, when she isn’t necessarily inconveniencing you. I get that you’re embarrassed, but this is who you’re dating. Either decide it’s a dealbreaker for you, or learn to live with it.
However, I do think she should be paying for meals if she’s going to pick a super expensive place."
What are your thoughts on this whole situation? Is OP right for being upset with his girlfriend, or should he be a little more understanding and accepting of her eating habits? Share your thoughts in the comments!
And for more drama-filled stories — like the woman whose husband refused to help pay for her hospital bill after she gave birth — click here.